Spring Breakdown

Monday starts Spring Break for the kids. I can’t really relate because I never felt this way in my life about school… but both of my school aged children are bummed about it. So are the wife and I.

Sofie just LOVES school. A few weeks back she was complaining that her tummy hurt. She was all bundled up and ready to go catch the bus when she stopped dead in her tracks and held her stomach. “Can you kiss my tummy daddy? It doesn’t feel so good.” I leaned over gave her a kiss on the stomach and not two seconds later she vomited all over the place. When we had to call her off of school she cried and cried. “I don’t want to miss school! I will miss out on all the fun!” she bawled as gigantic tears streaked down her face. She is in kindergarten though, so I will revisit this feeling she has towards school in a few years.

Bianca on the other hand… she gets bummed in a different way. Her sleep pattern gets disturbed, she becomes irritable and starts to act out. Head banging increases, meltdowns increase and then it takes several weeks to get settled back into her routine once school is back in session. So one week off, sets her back about a month.

That Awkward Moment When... - 2012 Blogging Advent Calendar Day 11

That awkward moment when a stranger starts talking to your non-conversational autistic child, and waits for a reply.

It happens a lot with us. We will be at Target or the grocery store and inevitably a little old lady will see Bianca and want to compliment her. Bianca is a really pretty little girl… big eyes, long hair and an incredible smile. Her looks betray her more severe autistic traits in the eyes of a stranger. They just see a pretty little girl who is smiley and singing. Her looks also work against her when she is melting down as well because she looks like a 7 year old that has parents that do not know how to control their child.

So what do we do when that moment comes in which the well-intended stranger comes up and asks Bianca her name, or how old she is only to get what they perceive to be the cold shoulder? Added to the mix is the fact that we are Latino. I could pass for a whole myriad of ethnicities, but my wife is pretty clearly Mexican. So then the nice person starts to speak slower and LOUDER. I think it is because they may suspect Bianca doesn’t speak English, but it could also be that they think she is deaf. 

Upon Further Review - 2012 Blogging Advent Calendar Day 8

“There is no planet, sun, or star could hold you if you but knew what you are.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

I think it is time to do something… Time for a re-evaluation of Bianca’s IEP.

I am NOT looking forward to it.

Until this year, Bianca had always struggled with returning to school. After a few weeks though, she would get adjusted to her routine and settle in. This year, has been tougher for her.

I don’t know if it is the longer school day (she now goes all day as a first grader) or that her classroom got changed and moved to a smaller room, maybe it is just her. At any rate, she is not where we would like her to be at school. She is making some progress, but she is also constantly out of her seat, escaping from the classroom, mouthing stuff before the paras and teachers can get to her and head-butting the staff on a daily basis. Every morning as Bianca leaves, my wife and I place a bet on who gets head-butted and where.

Back to School! or (New Routines: Here We Come!)

Whew… Well… It has been an interesting few weeks. I haven't had time to write much because it is that time of year again...

School is back in session! This of course means lots of things to lots of different people. To my family, the start of school this year means that we have Sofie entering Kindergarten and Bianca going to 1st grade with a whole new set of routines to establish.

Summertime Blues

For 12 years of my life, there was nothing I looked forward to more than the last day of school and the start of summer vacation. I hated school. Probably more than the average kid. I liked seeing my friends enough, but the structure of school and the homework was just not my style. For some reason those three months of summer vacation seemed like an eternity. There were so many adventures to go on and so much to do with friends. Summer meant sleeping in, baseball, riding ATVs and family outings. My friends and I lived it up each summer as we would regularly go to one of my best friends’ cabin on a lake and go boating and tubing. There were summer romances and festivals to go to… all in all, summers were a care-free easy going time.

Now I have a six year old with autism spectrum disorder and summers mean something completely different. They mean breaking old routines and fighting to establish new ones. Searching desperately for summer programs and making sure that we build upon the advances she has made in school with one on one interaction. We are always fearful that Bianca will regress. Summer programs aren't cheap and when your budget is already pretty tight as it is, you want to make certain you are paying for something that is going to be a benefit.

"Fixing" Autism

Please take some time to view my first attempt at a video blog. Please share, like, and rate the video if you deem it worthy. Thanks!

If you have not already, please take time to watch my videos, "Fixing" Autism and Autism Awareness with Nichole337 and share them with your friends.

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What Can’t Can Your Child Do?

(Note from Lou: Before there was a "Lou's Land", I used to write in Facebook Notes for my family and friends. It was with their encouragement that I decided to make my thoughts, feelings and observations public. This note was originally written on 04/11/11 and published here when I started my blog on 05/28/11.)

I thought I would write a quick note since it is Autism Awareness Month.

The most draining situation a parent of a child with Autism faces is not the day to day interactions with the child, but rather the re-living and re-telling of your child’s condition when you apply for new services or get a new specialist. You get bombarded with the same questions over and over… Does your child talk? Does your child play with other kids? Can your child do this, that, the other thing? Can your child perform any miracles?


You get the point. It is annoying. I understand the reasoning behind it. You can’t take your child to a new doctor or therapist and expect them to know all about your kid and his/her personal quirks. I often say that the reason it is called the Autism Spectrum is because the symptoms vary so greatly, that not one Autistic person has the exact same type of Autism as another. Autistic children are like snowflakes, each one is unique and carries with it unique beauty, characteristics, and complexities.

My daughter Bianca is going to be entering kindergarten next year and the time has come for yet another evaluation. This time her evaluation will result in how she is placed within the school system. Will she be able to go to a regular kindergarten class? Will she be able to go to a special needs kindergarten? Will she have to go to a school with only kids with special needs? I don’t know. What I do know is that the portion of the evaluation I had to fill out was tedious, depressing, confusing, and irritating.

One form contained 124 questions and asked me to rate each question on a scale of 1-7, a “1” meant you never witnessed this particular behavior, and a “7” meant that you witnessed the behavior more times in a day than you could count. The parent was then supposed to add up the numbers and cross-reference some stupid chart. Another BOOKLET had 11 PAGES of yes and no questions. By the time I finished answering all of these questions and filling out all the paperwork, I felt woozy. I could have sworn I just battled Apollo Creed. I was a beaten man. All I saw were pages of negativity all in preparation for an impending judgment by some group of people that don’t know my daughter.


Does your child play with other children? No
Can your child point to three body parts when asked? No
Can your child eat using utensils? No
Is your child potty trained? No
Does your child talk? No
Can your child draw an “X”? No

How about instead of asking me what my kid can’t do, you ask me about what my child can do? Herein lays one of the many challenges facing a parent of an Autistic child. It is rare for somebody to ask what your child CAN do. Above all things, parents like to boast about their child’s accomplishments. When my daughter that is not Autistic sings a song, or learns a dance, or builds something I tell my parents, or post it on Facebook proudly sharing the GENIUS that is singing a crappy Justin Bieber song at age 4. To a certain degree I am able to do that with Bianca as well, but not in the education system. Not in anything institutionalized. All they seem to want to know about are limitations.

Do you want to know what Bianca is capable of? She can make the darkest days seem bright with a mere hug. She can make you double over laughing with her contagious laugh. She can make you feel like you are the most loved human being on the planet and can melt you with her smile. Bianca can amaze you with her memory, her problem solving, her ability to speak in two languages and her fearless conquering of a playground. My daughter has the amazing ability to give life meaning and make you appreciate all you have.

My daughter can do many things, just not anything I am asked about on these stupid forms.

If you have not already, please take time to watch my videos, "Fixing" Autism and Autism Awareness with Nichole337 and share them with your friends.

To keep up to date with everying in Lou's Land, please subscribe to my blog. "Like" Lou's Land on Facebook and follow Lou's Land on Twitter