Guess what?

One of the things that I truly appreciate about Bianca is the level of our communication. I understand her like no other person. I know what she means when she furrows a brow just so, squeals a certain way or pulls my hand in a certain direction… and of course when she just plain asks for stuff.

 Her speech is coming along pretty well. More and more she asks for specific things or uses words to describe her environment. Just the other night while at a party she told me “Back home” when she clearly had enough of the environment and all that was going on. That certainly makes things easier and has led to a lot less meltdowns over time, but despite all the advancements her level of communication is still quite different and definitely well behind that of a NT 7 year old.

I don’t know why this particular thing I am about to share is such a source of pride and joy for me. It seems so incredibly silly… ridiculous really. But maybe that is exactly the reason why. It is just fun.

That Awkward Moment When... - 2012 Blogging Advent Calendar Day 11

That awkward moment when a stranger starts talking to your non-conversational autistic child, and waits for a reply.

It happens a lot with us. We will be at Target or the grocery store and inevitably a little old lady will see Bianca and want to compliment her. Bianca is a really pretty little girl… big eyes, long hair and an incredible smile. Her looks betray her more severe autistic traits in the eyes of a stranger. They just see a pretty little girl who is smiley and singing. Her looks also work against her when she is melting down as well because she looks like a 7 year old that has parents that do not know how to control their child.

So what do we do when that moment comes in which the well-intended stranger comes up and asks Bianca her name, or how old she is only to get what they perceive to be the cold shoulder? Added to the mix is the fact that we are Latino. I could pass for a whole myriad of ethnicities, but my wife is pretty clearly Mexican. So then the nice person starts to speak slower and LOUDER. I think it is because they may suspect Bianca doesn’t speak English, but it could also be that they think she is deaf. 

M&M’s (Miraculous and Motivating)

With motivation, people can accomplish amazing things. They can lose weight, run a marathon, learn new skills, climb mountains or throw themselves out of planes. Most people find motivation on their own and without the help of others, sometimes they need a gentle push. People get inspired and use that to their advantage to do things that they might not otherwise attempt to do.

For kids on the spectrum, motivators are often found by the parents. They vary as greatly as the individuals on the spectrum themselves. Some have a favorite toy, others a reward system like stickers. Some get rewarded with food like McDonald’s fries or a favorite fruit.

The Girl of a Million Words

We talk to each other all the time. We didn't use to. Things were not always so easy between us. I suppose that is usually the case in any typical father/daughter relationship. She feels like nobody gets her, and he feels like he is not an important enough figure in her life whose words get ignored. It just took a little while for me to understand her language and speak to her at a level in which she could comprehend what I was asking of her.