Summertime Blues

For 12 years of my life, there was nothing I looked forward to more than the last day of school and the start of summer vacation. I hated school. Probably more than the average kid. I liked seeing my friends enough, but the structure of school and the homework was just not my style. For some reason those three months of summer vacation seemed like an eternity. There were so many adventures to go on and so much to do with friends. Summer meant sleeping in, baseball, riding ATVs and family outings. My friends and I lived it up each summer as we would regularly go to one of my best friends’ cabin on a lake and go boating and tubing. There were summer romances and festivals to go to… all in all, summers were a care-free easy going time.

Now I have a six year old with autism spectrum disorder and summers mean something completely different. They mean breaking old routines and fighting to establish new ones. Searching desperately for summer programs and making sure that we build upon the advances she has made in school with one on one interaction. We are always fearful that Bianca will regress. Summer programs aren't cheap and when your budget is already pretty tight as it is, you want to make certain you are paying for something that is going to be a benefit.

A Happy Anniversary

One year ago today, I transferred a number of Facebook notes that I had written about my family’s experience with autism to Blogger and started Lou’s Land. I didn’t really put a lot of thought into it. I didn’t think anybody cared what I had to say and only did it after being bugged by several friends to make my experiences public.

What I discovered was that not only did people seem to relate to my writing; I could entirely relate to the feedback that I got in return. People shared their life, their stories, their intimate fears, their joys and triumphs all of which helped to make me understand that we were not alone in our journey. Where one on one therapy had failed, the online autism community had healed me. When you are scared of what lies ahead and are searching for answers, it helps to find people that have been where you are and can show you where you are going.

Club Med-ication

To medicate… or not to medicate?

This is the question I have been struggling with for the better part of two years.

Walk Now

To better understand somebody, don’t just walk a mile in their shoes… walk three miles by their side.

This was the conclusion I drew last year after participating in my first Walk Now for Autism Speaks event in Chicago. The event moved me so greatly and the people touched me so deeply that it literally changed my life forever.

Autism was no longer a deserted island. There were people out there that lived it and breathed it every day just like I did. There were families that looked just like mine walking the path down Chicago’s beautiful lakefront. Their struggles were our struggles. Autism was not the isolating sentence I thought my family had received, it was quite the opposite.

My Better Half

 

Bianca enters the world!

There is nothing sexier than the mother of your children.

Not from where I stand anyway. When I see my wife interact with our kids, I am more attracted to her than at any moment throughout the day. It is love. Watching your partner creating a memory with a being that is equal part you and her is magical. Those moments last forever in the minds of kids. I know because at the age of 40 every time I walk along Chicago’s lakefront I am 4 years old again and riding on the back of my mother’s bike in a bright orange seat. It is like it was yesterday.

 

I don’t write about my wife specifically very often. She is in my writing; she is around, but rarely the focus. I get asked why. I get asked why A LOT. “Where was your wife?” one email asks. “Are you separated?” inquires another. ”Are you guys OK?” worried one reader. The reason I don’t write many specific things about my relationship is because I am not certain how much of my wife’s life she wants shared. The blog and the videos are my thing… not hers. She is incredibly supportive of my efforts. She is proud. You can probably find a comment or two of hers on various things I have done, but she is content to be behind the scenes. She isn’t jealous of the attention I have gotten for my efforts, the only jealousy she has (she jokes) is of my relationship with Bianca because she is clearly a “Daddy’s Girl” in every way, shape and form.



Sofie comes a year and 22 days later!

I am going to break away from my usual rule for the day, because it is HER day. She actually gets two days. May 10^th is Mexican Mother’s Day and then she gets the second Sunday of May too. She deserves a lot more Mother’s Days than that.