tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-70028733796884737392024-03-12T20:38:07.610-05:00Lou's LandLouhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17794074464910523454noreply@blogger.comBlogger101125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7002873379688473739.post-90224037617046487562016-10-21T23:16:00.003-05:002016-10-21T23:21:27.781-05:00The Bartman Game<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTYY0Yyor4sdGtZclLSkDLIOKTPwNox96tewIfBnS0T40L1PVlWbx_PgJ4AeYFwnNP9pQJpyWYFUt5wOO29ejEg2qPFQ4vlUM07r2tE91S6gXWylr05XEM5Va4gLLb7zYvCoBG76oUB1to/s1600/bartman.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTYY0Yyor4sdGtZclLSkDLIOKTPwNox96tewIfBnS0T40L1PVlWbx_PgJ4AeYFwnNP9pQJpyWYFUt5wOO29ejEg2qPFQ4vlUM07r2tE91S6gXWylr05XEM5Va4gLLb7zYvCoBG76oUB1to/s320/bartman.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>This post was originally published at <a href="http://csnchicago.com/">csnchicago.com</a> but since it appears to have been purged, I am posting it here. It is not autism related in the least, but I hope you enjoy the read all the same. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>- Lou</i></div>
<br />
One of the exciting things about working in the media is
that there is a chance that you are going to witness history. It is seldom the
way in which you would have imagined it, and Game 6 of the 2003 National League
Championship Series was no different.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was hired as the audio technician of a camera crew for a
sports television network to cover the NLCS that year. As a lifelong Cubs fan,
the opportunity to be AT Wrigley Field INSIDE the clubhouse of the World Series
bound Chicago Cubs was a dream come true. The Cubs were coming home up 3-2 on
the Florida Marlins and Cubs Nation KNEW that this year was the “next year” we
had been talking about for 58 years and that the 95 year drought was coming to
an end.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Despite being so close to the action, I watched the game
like most of the extra media there that day… on small televisions in a dank and
cold storage area that had been converted into a “media room”. There were still
bags of limestone, piles of dirt with shovels jabbed into them and wheel
barrows in the one corner. Despite the atmosphere of the room, the media
huddled inside were buzzing and the feeling was electric. Prior was pitching a
gem of a game and had a 3 hit shutout going through 7 innings.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was at top of the 8<sup>th</sup> inning when the liaison
from the MLB came over to our crew and instructed us to follow him. As I
scrambled for my audio bag and boom pole, I remember thinking to myself “This
is it!” I was going to be IN the locker room of my favorite team when they broke
the decades long absence from the World Series. As we left the media room, Mike
Mordecai flied out to Moises Alou on a Prior fastball. The Cubs were 5 outs
away from the World Series.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a name='more'></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We walked up to the ramp and onto the concourse and the
scene was unreal. A combination of pandemonium and exuberance was exploding
before our eyes. Grown men were misty eyed with tears of joy; strangers were
hugging each other as cheers filled the air. We squeezed through the masses as
my thoughts were with my dad back home who just two days previous I had called
and boasted, “Don’t worry dad, we got this! There is no way the Marlins are
going to beat Prior AND Wood at home in back to back games! We are going to The
Show!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The photographer I was working with doesn’t remember this so
my memory may be sketchy, but in my mind I clearly remember walking past a souvenir stand as the vendor
was putting up “Cubs National League Champions” t-shirts. I even remember the vendor telling eager fans
that she could not sell the shirts until the game was final.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We turned towards the hallway to the Cubs clubhouse and as
we did, I could hear the roar of the crowd and feel the frenzied energy that
they were exuding. We hurried into the cramped and bare concrete hallway to the
clubhouse and waited to cover what was surely going to be history and a story
that I would be able to tell my children.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There was a flurry of activity and traffic in that little
hallway. As the door to the clubhouse swung open, I caught a glimpse of
something that drove home the magnitude of the event. In the clubhouse were
tubs and tubs of champagne and beer. Plastic was up over all of the lockers, it
appeared as though a tiny staging area was being set up. I took that as my cue
to prepare as well, so I threw my audio bag on and draped myself and my
equipment with my poncho.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was about that time that the crew I was with started to
notice a distinct change in the rumble that was coming from the Wrigley Field
stands. A loud groan was heard and then the unmistakable low pitched booing and
feet stomping filled the hall. We weren’t sure what was going on, but clearly
Cubs fans were not happy. The noise built into a frenzy of nervous energy that
was apparent even from our position. We could not see anything. There were no
televisions in the hallway, no speakers in the ceiling from which to hear Pat
and Ronnie. We were blind.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Occupying the hallway with us and standing ready to charge
out onto the field to keep the peace after the inevitable Cubs victory were a
dozen or so of Chicago’s finest. Not long after the noted shift in mood of the
Wrigley faithful, several officers got calls on their walkie-talkies and dashed
off. The remainder of the officers huddled together and listened carefully for
updates or orders while muttering to one another and shaking their heads in
disbelief.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our producer started to become concerned and asked me to
approach the officers to see if they would tell me what all the commotion was
about. When I asked the cop he smirked, “Some f***ing kid interfered with the
game and now the crowd wants to kill him.” I repeat back the information to our
producer and we tried to understand how a whole crowd could turn against a
little kid. We had no idea that the “kid” was in fact a 26 year old man, nor
did we know how serious the officer really was about the threats against him.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our conversation was broken up as a flurry of workers rushed
into the clubhouse. A man whom I could only assume was in charge of the
clubhouse was screaming at the workers as they rushed in pulling down plastic
and trying to roll out tubs of boozer. “Not one person sets foot in this
clubhouse until I give the all clear!” shouted the man in charge and he rushed
into the clubhouse and out of view.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“All right guys” said a frustrated voice. We turned and our
liaison from the MLB was standing at the other end of the hallway. “It’s not
going to happen today so let’s head back to the media room.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We went back up the ramp to the concourse and the tears of
joy were now tears of sadness, people were distraught for other reasons and
there was a great deal of what sounded like yelling and booing coming from the
direction of the concourse that would take you to the left field seats. As we
walked back to the media room, the same vendor that was putting up the shirts
was now taking them down. We caught a quick glimpse of a replay of Moises Alou
trying to field a foul ball down the third base line and getting interfered
with when it all became clear. We were now aware of what the sporting world
already knew so the producer and photographer decided that they would head
towards the commotion coming from the other end of the concourse and directed
me to wait for them in the media room.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I continued to the media room, TVs in the concourse were
being turned off so as not to show the replays of the incident. I went down the
ramp and turned left into the media room and the entire group was standing and
gathered around a couple of televisions.
The local media looked stunned, the national media looked like Christmas
had come early and the Florida media looked giddy. I just stared at the
television dumbfounded and the confidence that I once had in my favorite team
melted into doubt and resignation.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“This is what it means to be a Cubs fan.” I lamented to
another friend working that day.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I hate to say I expected it, but I can say that it didn’t
surprise me. What did surprise me was finding
myself where I was, when I was. I just hope that the next time I find myself in
a situation of historical significance with the Cubs; it comes in the form of a
celebration. We deserve it. To be so close and have it taken away seemed
particularly cruel. All we needed was 5 outs.</div>
Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17794074464910523454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7002873379688473739.post-40969698823826613402016-10-21T23:16:00.002-05:002016-10-21T23:19:31.755-05:00The Bartman Game<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTYY0Yyor4sdGtZclLSkDLIOKTPwNox96tewIfBnS0T40L1PVlWbx_PgJ4AeYFwnNP9pQJpyWYFUt5wOO29ejEg2qPFQ4vlUM07r2tE91S6gXWylr05XEM5Va4gLLb7zYvCoBG76oUB1to/s1600/bartman.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTYY0Yyor4sdGtZclLSkDLIOKTPwNox96tewIfBnS0T40L1PVlWbx_PgJ4AeYFwnNP9pQJpyWYFUt5wOO29ejEg2qPFQ4vlUM07r2tE91S6gXWylr05XEM5Va4gLLb7zYvCoBG76oUB1to/s320/bartman.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>This post was originally published at <a href="http://csnchicago.com/">csnchicago.com</a> but since it appears to have been purged, I am posting it here. It is not autism related in the least, but I hope you enjoy the read all the same. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>- Lou</i></div>
<br />One of the exciting things about working in the media is
that there is a chance that you are going to witness history. It is seldom the
way in which you would have imagined it, and Game 6 of the 2003 National League
Championship Series was no different.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was hired as the audio technician of a camera crew for a
sports television network to cover the NLCS that year. As a lifelong Cubs fan,
the opportunity to be AT Wrigley Field INSIDE the clubhouse of the World Series
bound Chicago Cubs was a dream come true. The Cubs were coming home up 3-2 on
the Florida Marlins and Cubs Nation KNEW that this year was the “next year” we
had been talking about for 58 years and that the 95 year drought was coming to
an end.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Despite being so close to the action, I watched the game
like most of the extra media there that day… on small televisions in a dank and
cold storage area that had been converted into a “media room”. There were still
bags of limestone, piles of dirt with shovels jabbed into them and wheel
barrows in the one corner. Despite the atmosphere of the room, the media
huddled inside were buzzing and the feeling was electric. Prior was pitching a
gem of a game and had a 3 hit shutout going through 7 innings.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was at top of the 8<sup>th</sup> inning when the liaison
from the MLB came over to our crew and instructed us to follow him. As I
scrambled for my audio bag and boom pole, I remember thinking to myself “This
is it!” I was going to be IN the locker room of my favorite team when they broke
the decades long absence from the World Series. As we left the media room, Mike
Mordecai flied out to Moises Alou on a Prior fastball. The Cubs were 5 outs
away from the World Series.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We walked up to the ramp and onto the concourse and the
scene was unreal. A combination of pandemonium and exuberance was exploding
before our eyes. Grown men were misty eyed with tears of joy; strangers were
hugging each other as cheers filled the air. We squeezed through the masses as
my thoughts were with my dad back home who just two days previous I had called
and boasted, “Don’t worry dad, we got this! There is no way the Marlins are
going to beat Prior AND Wood at home in back to back games! We are going to The
Show!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The photographer I was working with doesn’t remember this so
my memory may be sketchy, but in my mind I clearly remember walking past a souvenir stand as the vendor
was putting up “Cubs National League Champions” t-shirts. I even remember the vendor telling eager fans
that she could not sell the shirts until the game was final.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We turned towards the hallway to the Cubs clubhouse and as
we did, I could hear the roar of the crowd and feel the frenzied energy that
they were exuding. We hurried into the cramped and bare concrete hallway to the
clubhouse and waited to cover what was surely going to be history and a story
that I would be able to tell my children.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There was a flurry of activity and traffic in that little
hallway. As the door to the clubhouse swung open, I caught a glimpse of
something that drove home the magnitude of the event. In the clubhouse were
tubs and tubs of champagne and beer. Plastic was up over all of the lockers, it
appeared as though a tiny staging area was being set up. I took that as my cue
to prepare as well, so I threw my audio bag on and draped myself and my
equipment with my poncho.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was about that time that the crew I was with started to
notice a distinct change in the rumble that was coming from the Wrigley Field
stands. A loud groan was heard and then the unmistakable low pitched booing and
feet stomping filled the hall. We weren’t sure what was going on, but clearly
Cubs fans were not happy. The noise built into a frenzy of nervous energy that
was apparent even from our position. We could not see anything. There were no
televisions in the hallway, no speakers in the ceiling from which to hear Pat
and Ronnie. We were blind.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Occupying the hallway with us and standing ready to charge
out onto the field to keep the peace after the inevitable Cubs victory were a
dozen or so of Chicago’s finest. Not long after the noted shift in mood of the
Wrigley faithful, several officers got calls on their walkie-talkies and dashed
off. The remainder of the officers huddled together and listened carefully for
updates or orders while muttering to one another and shaking their heads in
disbelief.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our producer started to become concerned and asked me to
approach the officers to see if they would tell me what all the commotion was
about. When I asked the cop he smirked, “Some f***ing kid interfered with the
game and now the crowd wants to kill him.” I repeat back the information to our
producer and we tried to understand how a whole crowd could turn against a
little kid. We had no idea that the “kid” was in fact a 26 year old man, nor
did we know how serious the officer really was about the threats against him.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our conversation was broken up as a flurry of workers rushed
into the clubhouse. A man whom I could only assume was in charge of the
clubhouse was screaming at the workers as they rushed in pulling down plastic
and trying to roll out tubs of boozer. “Not one person sets foot in this
clubhouse until I give the all clear!” shouted the man in charge and he rushed
into the clubhouse and out of view.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“All right guys” said a frustrated voice. We turned and our
liaison from the MLB was standing at the other end of the hallway. “It’s not
going to happen today so let’s head back to the media room.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We went back up the ramp to the concourse and the tears of
joy were now tears of sadness, people were distraught for other reasons and
there was a great deal of what sounded like yelling and booing coming from the
direction of the concourse that would take you to the left field seats. As we
walked back to the media room, the same vendor that was putting up the shirts
was now taking them down. We caught a quick glimpse of a replay of Moises Alou
trying to field a foul ball down the third base line and getting interfered
with when it all became clear. We were now aware of what the sporting world
already knew so the producer and photographer decided that they would head
towards the commotion coming from the other end of the concourse and directed
me to wait for them in the media room.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I continued to the media room, TVs in the concourse were
being turned off so as not to show the replays of the incident. I went down the
ramp and turned left into the media room and the entire group was standing and
gathered around a couple of televisions.
The local media looked stunned, the national media looked like Christmas
had come early and the Florida media looked giddy. I just stared at the
television dumbfounded and the confidence that I once had in my favorite team
melted into doubt and resignation.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“This is what it means to be a Cubs fan.” I lamented to
another friend working that day.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I hate to say I expected it, but I can say that it didn’t
surprise me. What did surprise me was finding
myself where I was, when I was. I just hope that the next time I find myself in
a situation of historical significance with the Cubs; it comes in the form of a
celebration. We deserve it. To be so close and have it taken away seemed
particularly cruel. All we needed was 5 outs.</div>
Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17794074464910523454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7002873379688473739.post-52409096986365357952015-08-17T19:08:00.000-05:002015-08-17T20:50:48.914-05:00"Be Your Way"<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #141823; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 115%;">The following is a Facebook status written by my wife about an experience she had recently at an area Burger King.<br /><br />A little context here... This particular Burger King is one that I spend hours at and quite a bit of money. My mother-in-law has pretty advanced dementia, so we usually drop my wife off so that she can have some quiet time with her mom while the kids and I kill time at this Burger King because of the indoor play-land and free WiFi. Bianca gets to use her iPad and my other two get to run around like nuts and blow off steam.<br /><br />It was because of this familiarity, that my wife chose this particular establishment to duck into in a time of desperation.</span><br />
<a name='more'></a><span style="background: white; color: #141823; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span>
<span style="background: white; color: #141823; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 115%;">A few years back, this sort of incident would have crushed my wife to the core. I couldn't be more proud of her response to an incredibly stressful situation. But what if this had happened to a mother not nearly as far along in her journey raising an autistic child as we are?</span><br />
<span style="background: white; color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote>
<span style="background: white; color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;">To the blond young
lady working the register at the Burger King on Route 30 in Valparaiso on August 15th… Yes,
the very loud and opinionated lady who made it a point to sarcastically yell
across the restaurant as I was walking out with my 3 boisterous children,
"Thank you for coming. Please come back again".</span> </blockquote>
<blockquote>
<span style="background: white; color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;">I understand that it
may have annoyed you that I didn't purchase anything. That I just rushed in,
with a look of panic on my face, spent a whole 8 minutes in your restroom, and
proceeded to walk out with my kids. I may not have spent money there today, but
I have done so many of times, as we visit your restaurant when we visit my
mother at the nursing home. You see, I have a 9 year old daughter who is still
not completely verbal; one who I am so very proud of because she works so hard
at communicating with us.</span> </blockquote>
<blockquote>
<span style="background: white; color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Until almost 4 months
ago, we were spending an insane amount of money on diapers (which cost quite a
bit more than those that babies wear, because of course, she's 9). We finally
got a break in that department as she is now wearing big girl underwear.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote>
<span style="background: white; color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;">We have come a long
way, but we're still struggling with little accidents as Bianca has yet to
learn how to control certain functions. Example, if she says (and signs)
"potty", we must find a potty.....like NOW! There is a tiny window
between her expressing her need and her actual using the potty. We are teaching
her to "listen" to her body so that she doesn't wait till the last
minute to tell us she has to go.</span> </blockquote>
<blockquote>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Today was an eventful
day. We got to see the Air Show downtown and we were very grateful to have many
porta-potties available. We left Chicago and headed to Valparaiso, Indiana for
a family member's birthday party. Perhaps it was my fault for not stopping at
home to see if she had to use the potty. We were 15 minutes from our
destination when I heard Bianca say "potty, potty". I acknowledged
her need and assured her that I would stop as soon as I could.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></blockquote>
<blockquote>
<span style="background: white; color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;">My intention was to
stop at this very Burger King, take her to use the restroom, and buy the kids
some Icees. However, not a minute passed when an all too familiar smell came
over us. (Bianca was wearing a dress, thus making this that much more of a
crisis).</span> </blockquote>
<blockquote>
<span style="background: white; color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;">The kids started to
complain, and the panic set in. My kids, as well as every other parent with a
child on the spectrum know what comes next! As gross as this may sound to
everyone else, the smearing and even ingesting that typically follows is
nothing short of a fecal war movie.</span> </blockquote>
<blockquote>
<span style="background: white; color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;">I step on the gas,
praying not to get pulled over, begging with Bianca to not pull her undies off,
and to hang tight. She kept reaching, but would stop at my command. Needless to
say, those were the longest 7 minutes of my life. I was worried less about my
car or the mess I'd have to clean, and more about adding to the trauma my other
two kids already endure. I knew they'd come to understand, but the heartbreak
of being so close to enjoying themselves with the cousins they love, having to
turn back around after being just blocks away was something I didn't want to
see.</span> </blockquote>
<blockquote>
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="background: white;">I pull into the parking lot like a maniac, still
pleading with Bianca not to take her clothes off or reach into her undies. I
get the kids out, then slowly pull her out. I rushed into the restaurant with
only the diaper bag, leaving my phone and purse behind. I get into a stall, and
proceed to clean up. Luckily, (thanks to her healthy eating habits) the mess
was minimal. Major Code Brown averted. I cleaned and changed her. Put her in a
fresh pair of pants and shirt. Then I washed her hands.</span></span> </blockquote>
<blockquote>
<span style="background: white; color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;">She rarely listens to
me the way she listens to her daddy. Today, she proudly obliged to my desperate
pleas. I'm so proud of her. Meanwhile, my other two minions were still freaking
out, wondering if there was a mess in the car (and there was not). I cleaned
the stall even though there were only a couple of spots affected. And I dried
my sweat. I couldn't buy Icees as I'd left everything in the car.</span> </blockquote>
<blockquote>
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="background: white;">So as embarrassed as I was by the employee's comment,
followed by the snickering and laughter of her co-workers, and the judgmental
stares, I managed to continue on with our plans.</span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote>
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="background: white;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; float: none; orphans: auto; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">What would have normally resulted in a tear fest, cancelled
plans, and a night of self-pity, ended up being a fun filled evening for my
children. Bianca has come a long way, but so have I! My child is not a monster.
She will not stay home. She will not be hidden from society because the world
isn't prepared to deal with her. She is learning, as am I. So if you want to
embarrass someone, go ahead. But today, I'm not ashamed. I'm a proud Autism mom!</span></span></span></blockquote>
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCuXGi3CqtKqoOi3bivrOl79tB5aHuRxypo9WjnEosNsPjjTowc0r-yR-_NDdpUxO3VIXRmUWvdIIMiHvr7LAsSIqCT_A9UepAf_e6jcRnhei50AsdiD-8kK_lOJTd-FrfcMMu7AmC4qgz/s1600/elsa+bianca.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCuXGi3CqtKqoOi3bivrOl79tB5aHuRxypo9WjnEosNsPjjTowc0r-yR-_NDdpUxO3VIXRmUWvdIIMiHvr7LAsSIqCT_A9UepAf_e6jcRnhei50AsdiD-8kK_lOJTd-FrfcMMu7AmC4qgz/s320/elsa+bianca.jpg" width="179" /></a><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">We have come a long way. A long way as a family and a long way as a society. But you can see there is still a lot of work to do. Perhaps it was just youthful ignorance on behalf of the employee. I am sure that the employees have been talked to about letting people entering the restaurant know that the restrooms were for customers only. But imagine how different the outcome would have been had the young lady behind the counter simply asked, "Is everything OK ma'am?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">And perhaps therein lies the lesson. In a day and age in which we safely hurl snark from behind the screen of our electronic device of choice in the cyber world, let us not forget that in the real world compassion, empathy and understanding go much farther and are more appreciated.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">In all honesty, this event could have happened anywhere. Burger King didn't set out to wrong my family. It was a lapse in judgement by an employee. Still, the current slogan at Burger King is "Be Your Way". Nobody defines that slogan more than Bianca. She is true to herself and as authentic as you can get. Maybe BK needs to take that slogan to heart and encourage their employees to not be so judgmental.</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_ukeNSslkRz9wlw8jmmLBKBTtseY4m6Ut46KhG8APLYqGZ2joMTgkGM5zSthZ8znq7d6A0PdXR38INFLW-n23hd4r2DOhUndzSvU2GfjdI8zx6ujLbCXTlM77aVHJIj1YkkUk5YAc0WN1/s1600/divider.gif" imageanchor="1" style="color: #6c91ce; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" height="70" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_ukeNSslkRz9wlw8jmmLBKBTtseY4m6Ut46KhG8APLYqGZ2joMTgkGM5zSthZ8znq7d6A0PdXR38INFLW-n23hd4r2DOhUndzSvU2GfjdI8zx6ujLbCXTlM77aVHJIj1YkkUk5YAc0WN1/s200/divider.gif" style="border: none; position: relative;" width="200" /></a></div>
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<br />
<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you have not already, please take time to watch my videos, </span><a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2011/08/fixing-autism.html" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Fixing" Autism</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and <a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2012/02/autism-awarenessskyscraper-by-demi.html" target="_blank">Autism Awareness with Nichole337</a> and share them with your friends.</span></i></span></span></span></div>
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Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17794074464910523454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7002873379688473739.post-90589597992204006262014-06-26T20:59:00.001-05:002014-06-26T20:59:50.801-05:00Marty's Words<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKjuhqV1b37j1BuqJNm-cUtZ_9tJ8fEbern5RbidM76WsHrArkeJv-POrRBePX3UmLxMWeAM0Iprk5ao87IyAhBdYkylvBAqfcorf3n8G_FWEJmOB0SxcI_zK664hpydzRmYiw6e0FFmBe/s1600/DeMaatMartin.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKjuhqV1b37j1BuqJNm-cUtZ_9tJ8fEbern5RbidM76WsHrArkeJv-POrRBePX3UmLxMWeAM0Iprk5ao87IyAhBdYkylvBAqfcorf3n8G_FWEJmOB0SxcI_zK664hpydzRmYiw6e0FFmBe/s1600/DeMaatMartin.gif" /></a>Martin DeMaat was an improv teacher at Columbia College and
the Artistic Director at Second City Chicago. I took every improve class I
could with Marty because he was such an amazing and inspiring person. He
genuinely cared and his approach to imrpov was to create as safe a place as
possible for the performer. It was a true joy to be instructed by him and his
passion for the art form was contagious.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I wrote down in my notebook at the start of my second class
with Marty a few things that I noticed he had said at the start of the previous
class I took with him as well. Marty said many memorable things, but a couple
of things he said have stuck with me to this day.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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"You do not have the right to feel inadequate."<br />
"You are pure potential."</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
<a name='more'></a><br />
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Every day I look at my kids, I think of these quotes as kind
of a daily affirmation. They were meant as tools to free up the mind when
performing, but they really are so much more.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Marty passed away in 2001 so I never got the opportunity to
tell him in how many ways those words have impacted and continue to impact my
view on life, but I can do what I think he would have enjoyed more... I can
pass them on to others. So when a friend is down, stressed about work, feeling
overwhelmed by the challenges of a tough world; I share the words of Martin
DeMaat.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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So as you tuck your autistic little ones in tonight,
especially if it has been a challenging day, please look to their potential. It
is boundless. Know that the challenges you faced today will change. Some will
go away, some will evolve and new ones will manifest themselves. Still, our
children are capable of amazing things. There is no potential more pure than an
autistic child.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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If you are an autistic young adult and you are having a
tough time fitting in or you are being bullied by peers, know that you are just
fine being who you are. Do not allow yourself the feeling of inadequacy. Do not
let that feeling to take hold because it is a virus and it will spread. Know
that you are loved. Be the best YOU that you can be and to hell with those that
cannot see your beauty. Your life has value and your uniqueness helps to paint
the tapestry of life. Things will get better.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
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Thanks for the wise words Marty. I continue to reap the
rewards of our time together. So does my family.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_ukeNSslkRz9wlw8jmmLBKBTtseY4m6Ut46KhG8APLYqGZ2joMTgkGM5zSthZ8znq7d6A0PdXR38INFLW-n23hd4r2DOhUndzSvU2GfjdI8zx6ujLbCXTlM77aVHJIj1YkkUk5YAc0WN1/s1600/divider.gif" imageanchor="1" style="color: #6c91ce; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_ukeNSslkRz9wlw8jmmLBKBTtseY4m6Ut46KhG8APLYqGZ2joMTgkGM5zSthZ8znq7d6A0PdXR38INFLW-n23hd4r2DOhUndzSvU2GfjdI8zx6ujLbCXTlM77aVHJIj1YkkUk5YAc0WN1/s200/divider.gif" height="70" style="border: none; position: relative;" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">
<br />
<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you have not already, please take time to watch my videos, </span><a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2011/08/fixing-autism.html" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Fixing" Autism</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and <a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2012/02/autism-awarenessskyscraper-by-demi.html" target="_blank">Autism Awareness with Nichole337</a> and share them with your friends.</span></i></span></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #333333;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><br /></i></span></span></span><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To keep up to date with everying in Lou's Land, please subscribe to my blog. "Like" Lou's Land on </span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/lousland" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Facebook</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and follow Lou's Land on </span><span style="color: #6699cc; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.twitter.com/lousland" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;">Twitter</a></span></i></span></span></div>
</div>
Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17794074464910523454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7002873379688473739.post-58810859803002257332014-06-16T00:18:00.002-05:002014-06-16T00:27:34.372-05:00El Mero Mero<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbq2X1q4YV5HUgqaSzyYqkh9bpSmNu1jwGMRnJLuVzmVNkQFww-AJl5JvAhP3prbRo9fkHUjfghhBnMn99-ug1MF0kGAIrC3GHaLLyiN6YL8cQhyN8fLgaQ8QoDCglBTfT3dTDXukztSaF/s1600/abuelito+babies+collage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbq2X1q4YV5HUgqaSzyYqkh9bpSmNu1jwGMRnJLuVzmVNkQFww-AJl5JvAhP3prbRo9fkHUjfghhBnMn99-ug1MF0kGAIrC3GHaLLyiN6YL8cQhyN8fLgaQ8QoDCglBTfT3dTDXukztSaF/s1600/abuelito+babies+collage.jpg" height="304" width="640" /></a></div>
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Well... not quite the Father's Day I had prepared for from
an advocate perspective. I had a post about half written that I had planned on
finishing yesterday, and I had some ideas from a sharing perspective as well...
all of that got placed on the back burner though.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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The patriarch of my wife's family, Bianca's abuelito and
hero passed away Saturday at the age of 92.<o:p></o:p></div>
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He was my wife's everything. I always say that I am the
third most important man in my wife's life... her dad, our son and then me. And
I am fine with that.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
<a name='more'></a><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsMqwpdQlVWJSmYY2P7Uduxsug2cJCfzVWRmxKJv-72uTEBljl4m_qE1YSNhVl5ff7JQZmMU3_8OqDJLRH2hVanYA4beMv-wHTOQqKTvimLgAizRAJKyvy_1bBiqyalz5wV2fX5-exqkpZ/s1600/DSC02614.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsMqwpdQlVWJSmYY2P7Uduxsug2cJCfzVWRmxKJv-72uTEBljl4m_qE1YSNhVl5ff7JQZmMU3_8OqDJLRH2hVanYA4beMv-wHTOQqKTvimLgAizRAJKyvy_1bBiqyalz5wV2fX5-exqkpZ/s1600/DSC02614.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a>My wife is the youngest of 6 and is the only girl. She is 13
years younger than her next sibling, so growing up she was aware that her dad
(who was 55 when he had her) was older. Before we married my wife was fearful
that her dad would never live to meet her kids. He met, and created memories with all
three.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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So Father's Day was taking on a very somber tone for the
family. My wife was weepy this morning when I told her that her dad would want
her to enjoy Father's Day and to be with family. "If you really want to
honor him" I told her chuckling, "you should eat some cake."</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="clear: right; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFMKjReJx7SnAagzVt2QRoKXX0nvGIGk4WVpKGv2wMYSNHuYR7ueXAf09giLgDkSQn0quJZERMt5BL3IDueVREpNtPR5dYdMbhyHHV9jHxuQY25_QORaBnefhkXorkGUe66Q8SV-nk4mSW/s1600/2014-06-14+16.34.47.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFMKjReJx7SnAagzVt2QRoKXX0nvGIGk4WVpKGv2wMYSNHuYR7ueXAf09giLgDkSQn0quJZERMt5BL3IDueVREpNtPR5dYdMbhyHHV9jHxuQY25_QORaBnefhkXorkGUe66Q8SV-nk4mSW/s1600/2014-06-14+16.34.47.jpeg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Abuelito with Bianca</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
My father-in-law, a Type II diabetic for 30 years, LOVED
sweets… especially cake. If there was a pastel de tres leches around, that
thing was going to disappear. His love for sweets would have been a problem for
him except that the rest of his diet was so strict, regimented and healthy that
he did not become insulin dependent until the age of 86 or so. There was more
than one occasion that I would stop by and find him lying on the floor doing
his bicycle kicks to stay in shape. He was an amazing guy... who loved sweets.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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We tried to control his appetite for sweets, but he had help
from the inside. My daughter Sofie and abuelito were partners in crime. They
were like peas and carrots. Sofie loved him, followed him, mimicked him and
would cuddle up to and sleep on him or with him whenever she could. She never
ran out of hugs and kisses for her abuelito. She also never stopped pocketing
sweets for him and handing them off to him on the sly.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At the wedding of one of my niece's, he had Sofie go table to table
and pocket all of the candy favors. He also had her hit the candy bar and slip
him a bowl of M&M’s or whatever she could commandeer from the table.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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It was with that spirit in mind that my wife lit up and
laughed. She shared my cake idea on Facebook and quickly another member of the
family (also finding it hard to be “up” this Father’s Day with abuelito’s
passing) was all for it and invited the family over for burgers, hot dogs and
of course… cake.<o:p></o:p><br />
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2eotaRyG3lagMX0d6Ih1cfLsKZ9nf1fe306v0izvo_7MNJgPVKKfyJiYh_gxyMmbTjB-f9b0Gyf2wVfBn-wJprw53d39G0W2vfImmAYHE68gjMkcZ2TTPsCV9P3AbCpi5n21bx2PHs4St/s1600/DSC02561.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2eotaRyG3lagMX0d6Ih1cfLsKZ9nf1fe306v0izvo_7MNJgPVKKfyJiYh_gxyMmbTjB-f9b0Gyf2wVfBn-wJprw53d39G0W2vfImmAYHE68gjMkcZ2TTPsCV9P3AbCpi5n21bx2PHs4St/s1600/DSC02561.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a>And that is how we spent this Father’s Day. Exactly the way
abuelito would have loved to celebrate with us… family, laughter, spoiling the
kids… and cake.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We will miss you Jose Madrigal, AKA “Don Pepe” “El Mero Mero”
“Abuelito”… or to my wife… “dad”.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When you walked your youngest child and only daughter down
the aisle at my wedding, you turned to me took my hand in yours and placed your
other hand on my shoulder. In a very thick accent you told me, “This… this is
for life”. I nodded and told you that I
agreed. The nearly 60 years you were with my mother-in-law serve as an example
of compromise, friendship, determination, love and forgiveness.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I thank you for teaching me first-hand what it takes to love
a wife and a daughter. I only hope that I can equal the amount of love and
dedication you had towards both.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUaE2_qlCPiepklu7bCC2nZVurrqrsFuppDFCrGBEMffOXsN2XU9vCxjfaiISsnXIjeYtZwOxeY07lUnqYHQdzZBO-v-n8p3-MiVVh2bTR4dUFKcKKdlBKeU_ggZ7gnPuVOnaaxWBpOt-q/s1600/fathers+day+cake.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUaE2_qlCPiepklu7bCC2nZVurrqrsFuppDFCrGBEMffOXsN2XU9vCxjfaiISsnXIjeYtZwOxeY07lUnqYHQdzZBO-v-n8p3-MiVVh2bTR4dUFKcKKdlBKeU_ggZ7gnPuVOnaaxWBpOt-q/s1600/fathers+day+cake.jpg" height="382" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_ukeNSslkRz9wlw8jmmLBKBTtseY4m6Ut46KhG8APLYqGZ2joMTgkGM5zSthZ8znq7d6A0PdXR38INFLW-n23hd4r2DOhUndzSvU2GfjdI8zx6ujLbCXTlM77aVHJIj1YkkUk5YAc0WN1/s1600/divider.gif" imageanchor="1" style="color: #6c91ce; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_ukeNSslkRz9wlw8jmmLBKBTtseY4m6Ut46KhG8APLYqGZ2joMTgkGM5zSthZ8znq7d6A0PdXR38INFLW-n23hd4r2DOhUndzSvU2GfjdI8zx6ujLbCXTlM77aVHJIj1YkkUk5YAc0WN1/s200/divider.gif" height="70" style="border: none; position: relative;" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">
<br />
<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you have not already, please take time to watch my videos, </span><a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2011/08/fixing-autism.html" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Fixing" Autism</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and <a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2012/02/autism-awarenessskyscraper-by-demi.html" target="_blank">Autism Awareness with Nichole337</a> and share them with your friends.</span></i></span></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #333333;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><br /></i></span></span></span><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To keep up to date with everying in Lou's Land, please subscribe to my blog. "Like" Lou's Land on </span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/lousland" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Facebook</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and follow Lou's Land on </span><span style="color: #6699cc; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.twitter.com/lousland" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;">Twitter</a></span></i></span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17794074464910523454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7002873379688473739.post-2206030532667164432014-06-01T21:12:00.002-05:002014-06-02T11:29:26.961-05:00A Cut Above the Rest<div class="MsoNormal">
Today I paid $20 for a $10 haircut... and couldn't be
happier.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I took Bianca to get her haircut today, and as soon as we
walked into the place, she started to melt down. I sat her in my lap to try and
keep her calm but she wanted none of it. She was flailing about, grinding her
teeth, trying to head-butt me and kicking all over… and the stylist had yet to
even touch her.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As Bianca weeps uncontrollably I wonder why I even bothered
giving our name ahead of time and killing time at Target. The whole reason I
didn’t stick around was because I didn’t want Bianca to get agitated while
waiting. I was trying to be Superdad and was out with my three kids and
adult male cousin who is great with our kids, but certainly not used to Bianca
blowing a gasket in a public place. My bride was attending the graduation of a
family friend and I wanted to surprise her with a new summer “do” for Binks.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A very meek and demure looking lady looked at me as two of
my kids were chasing after one another like maniacs and Bianca was in hysterics
and hesitantly asks who I was with. “Bianca” I reply while giving a head gesture
towards the kid who is now on the floor with tears streaming down her face and
snot bubbles coming out of her nose.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<a name='more'></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Are you ready?” she asked.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I am… not so sure about her though.” I replied with a shrug
and that state of calm that we autism parents can go to as the world around us
is in a complete state of disarray.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I sat in the chair and plopped Bianca in my lap. This was a
piece of cake when she was 4, but is really much more of a chore now that she
is 8 and weighs 52 pounds. Bianca is one
smart cookie though, and as we all know forgets nothing. She knows that she has
gotten her hair cut at this place before and is now in complete panic mode.
Nothing is working; not my phone or scripting her favorite shows, not deep pressure
hugs or singing our favorite songs. Yet while all of this is going on, the very
slight and quiet lady starts to brush Bianca’s hair gently working the brush
through knots and tangles.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Any time she would get some hair detangled and brushed out,
Bianca would fling her head to make her hair shift or just grab her hair and
mess it up. The lady would back off, wait, smile and start all over again. She
must have done this a hundred times. She finally got to a point where she could
start to spray Bianca’s hair down but as she did Bianca was still losing it.
Now she was saying, “Rain, rain go away”, “Water”, “Agua”, “Hair” and going
limp so that I could not hold her. Still, the beautician was patient and took
advantage of opportunities as she got them.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As all Hell is breaking loose in my chair, an older gentleman
gets seated right next to us. There were 6 other chairs that were empty in the
place, it just so happened to be this guy’s luck that the two people working
had their stations right next to one another. Do you know that this guy got his
entire haircut done while Bianca was in the throes of despair and I did not get
ONE look… not one stare? And I was waiting for it. I had the apology and
explanation ready to go. It was like we weren’t even there and believe me there
was no way to miss the side show that was this.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The stylist tried to put Bianca’s hair in clips so that she
could do a proper job, but she quickly realized that it wasn’t going to work.
She looked at me with a smile and quietly said, “I am sorry, but I am afraid
that I will not be able to cut her hair. I am really afraid that I could cut
her, myself or that her hair would not be even and I would hate to give her a
bad cut. Maybe we try another day?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I told her that I understood and asked her if I could have a
few minutes with Bianca to see if I couldn’t calm her down. I let her stand in front of me and got her
interested in watching YouTube videos on my phone and as Bianca stood there
watching Dora on my phone, the lady started delicately brushing Bianca’s hair.
She then showed Bianca the brush they use to powder people with and she loved
the soft feel of the brush on her face. She watched her video and played with
the brush and then Bianca began to settle down, smile and started doing her
happy scripting. As she did, slowly and delicately the stylist began to snip
away at her hair.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Every once in a while Bianca would put her hands up or flip
her hair around and the beautician would step back, smile and then resume. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjc6cM-lpBjcCxKyhvombf2kPtrjvZewapyQ9XfHXLRjjPuYV_POkx2FRNe-F46UpQ3RQ10LzUpvVz2KInka2N5T8AGGSdN-WMiU0BpJ4ak9eSl4fa7Nqy8OahLp1ck2yMjr3jDLNefOBsw/s1600/bianca+haircut.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjc6cM-lpBjcCxKyhvombf2kPtrjvZewapyQ9XfHXLRjjPuYV_POkx2FRNe-F46UpQ3RQ10LzUpvVz2KInka2N5T8AGGSdN-WMiU0BpJ4ak9eSl4fa7Nqy8OahLp1ck2yMjr3jDLNefOBsw/s1600/bianca+haircut.jpg" height="225" width="400" /></a>All in all, it took a little over an hour for Bianca to get
her haircut. In that hour I never saw Phyllis express one ounce of frustration.
She never had a snarky comment or tone. I never felt judged as being a bad
parent or for having an out of control kid. All she did was to give Bianca a
cute haircut with kindness and patience. So thank you Phyllis at the Supercuts in Merrillville, Indiana. Your demeanor helped to put this dad at ease.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
And that is how I came to pay $20 for a $10 haircut. Wish I
could have paid more.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_ukeNSslkRz9wlw8jmmLBKBTtseY4m6Ut46KhG8APLYqGZ2joMTgkGM5zSthZ8znq7d6A0PdXR38INFLW-n23hd4r2DOhUndzSvU2GfjdI8zx6ujLbCXTlM77aVHJIj1YkkUk5YAc0WN1/s1600/divider.gif" imageanchor="1" style="color: #6c91ce; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_ukeNSslkRz9wlw8jmmLBKBTtseY4m6Ut46KhG8APLYqGZ2joMTgkGM5zSthZ8znq7d6A0PdXR38INFLW-n23hd4r2DOhUndzSvU2GfjdI8zx6ujLbCXTlM77aVHJIj1YkkUk5YAc0WN1/s200/divider.gif" height="70" style="border: none; position: relative;" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">
<br />
<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you have not already, please take time to watch my videos, </span><a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2011/08/fixing-autism.html" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Fixing" Autism</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and <a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2012/02/autism-awarenessskyscraper-by-demi.html" target="_blank">Autism Awareness with Nichole337</a> and share them with your friends.</span></i></span></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #333333;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><br /></i></span></span></span><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To keep up to date with everying in Lou's Land, please subscribe to my blog. "Like" Lou's Land on </span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/lousland" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Facebook</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and follow Lou's Land on </span><span style="color: #6699cc; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.twitter.com/lousland" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;">Twitter</a></span></i></span></span></div>
</div>
<o:p></o:p>Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17794074464910523454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7002873379688473739.post-36391276352523356282014-01-27T23:24:00.000-06:002014-01-27T23:37:46.610-06:00School Safety: Avonte Oquendo's Legacy<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLNMGiMZDVbibJ5MJZ1g7CgX_V5K4iOQOCu_ul1ZX5CjwopFFtE39dkzzThQwEBoIhKFW0eCUwhZ4J3BssEvTJCf9DwdUUkHJQDxDTDAxVlhzHEnk3bNY5a7QsspviCFANfUokQ9PY7XQq/s1600/riverview.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLNMGiMZDVbibJ5MJZ1g7CgX_V5K4iOQOCu_ul1ZX5CjwopFFtE39dkzzThQwEBoIhKFW0eCUwhZ4J3BssEvTJCf9DwdUUkHJQDxDTDAxVlhzHEnk3bNY5a7QsspviCFANfUokQ9PY7XQq/s1600/riverview.jpg" height="391" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Riverview School as seen via satellite from Google Earth.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">The name of the school sends shivers down the spine of any
parent to an autistic child. The Riverview School, a school for children with
special needs, screams danger right there in the title yet the security
provided the children of that school was nowhere close to being proportionate
to the level of danger provided by its surroundings. A s<span class="textexposedshow">atellite view from <a href="http://www.google.com/earth/">Google
Earth</a> of The Riverview School. It indicates that those warning bells are
justified.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">On October 4<sup>th</sup> 2013, 14 year-old <a href="http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2013/10/05/missing-queens-teen-was-last-seen-leaving-school-on-friday/">Avonte
Oquendo slipped away from his class</a> while on the way to a technology room.
He allegedly ran past a security guard, out a side door and was never seen
again.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a name='more'></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">Family attorney David Perecman released the </span><a href="http://www.wnyc.org/story/lawyer-missing-boy-says-doe-documented-mistakes-his-school/"><span style="background: white; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">timeline of the events as
stated in the Department of Education</span></a><span style="background: white; color: #333333; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;"> occurrence report to the media, but declined
to release the report due to confidentiality issues. The report, as relayed by
Perecman is beyond damning and shows that the school failed Avonte Oquendo at
nearly every level:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="background: white; color: #333333; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">12:37</span></b><span style="background: white; color: #333333; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;"> – Avonte
runs past the security desk towards the Borden Avenue exit before turning
around and running past the security desk again, down the hall and slipping out
an open door onto Center Boulevard. A security guard allegedly watched Avonte
exit the school. The door is shut by a security guard shortly thereafter.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="background: white; color: #333333; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">12:40</span></b><span style="background: white; color: #333333; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;"> – A
substitute aide notices that Avonte is missing and informs the teacher. They
operate under the assumption that Avonte is still in the building and the
teacher is seen on video searching for his missing student.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="background: white; color: #333333; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">12:56</span></b><span style="background: white; color: #333333; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;"> – The
Assistant Principal is notified by a security coordinator that Avonte cannot be
found. The first floor security guard is asked if she had seen Avonte and she
states that she witnessed the young man run down the hall and then upstairs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="background: white; color: #333333; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">1:20</span></b><span style="background: white; color: #333333; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;"> – The
school notifies the principal who was not on-site, but at the sister school for
younger children a short distance away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="background: white; color: #333333; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">1:30</span></b><span style="background: white; color: #333333; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;"> – The
principal returns and questions the first floor security guard again who
repeats that she saw Avonte run down the hall and up the stairs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="background: white; color: #333333; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">1:35</span></b><span style="background: white; color: #333333; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;"> – Avonte
Oquendo’s mother is called.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="background: white; color: #333333; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">2:00</span></b><span style="background: white; color: #333333; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;"> – The NYPD
was notified.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="background: white; color: #333333; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">2:30</span></b><span style="background: white; color: #333333; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;"> - The
school finally gains access to the video surveillance system and sees that
Avonte left the building through the Center Boulevard door. The delay was due
to the fact that they did not have the correct password to access the video
surveillance system. </span><span style="color: #333333; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="textexposedshow"><span style="background: white; color: #333333; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">The Riverview School is a school for
kids with special needs. Many of those kids are autistic.</span></span><span style="background: white; color: #333333; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;"> <span class="textexposedshow">Even a rudimentary knowledge of the behaviors of kids on
the spectrum should include the fact that autistic kids are drawn to water.</span>
<span class="textexposedshow">Being that close to so much water, it is incomprehensible
to me that the safety measures for the children in that school could be so lax.
If there was ever a school that should be on a constant state of high alert in
terms of keeping their students safe, it should be The Riverview School.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #333333; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">It
took 83 minutes from the time Avonte darted off from his teachers until the
police were notified.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #333333; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">Here
is a Google Earth Street View from the approximate location of the door exiting
onto Center Boulevard looking to the East as if you were exiting the building.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4Fl-EfV6NM6cWdf7g2f_3XJzbeDC9KJYz665vmaLuFQJDl9jV9erzzEEyBZtdGh-bjolueAkkhQjOJIPKvnecixH09HssMNBKZIBOgxgXWxh4XwNoRw-kw08fPMSw0W7iOxloQri_mkTh/s1600/riverview+streetview.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4Fl-EfV6NM6cWdf7g2f_3XJzbeDC9KJYz665vmaLuFQJDl9jV9erzzEEyBZtdGh-bjolueAkkhQjOJIPKvnecixH09HssMNBKZIBOgxgXWxh4XwNoRw-kw08fPMSw0W7iOxloQri_mkTh/s1600/riverview+streetview.jpg" height="268" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Using Google Earth Street View, you can see what greets you as you exit The Riverside School on to Center Boulevard.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #333333;">How
many minutes do you think it would take to get to the water if you were
running? Or should I say “seconds”?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When you watch the surveillance video from the camera
located outside the school looking North up Center Boulevard, you see Avonte
run North to the intersection and then head East towards the park and the East
River.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<center>
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/MRQvPQyy-2A" width="560"></iframe></center>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<span id="goog_281766180"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What happened to Avonte once he ran out of frame may never
be known. Regardless of the circumstances outside of the school, the
administrators of The Riverview School should have been mindful of their
surroundings and the security should have matched that level of danger. There
should have been ZERO opportunities for a child to exit that school without
alarms going off and people being notified immediately. If not Avonte, I
guarantee that it was only a matter of time before this nightmare would have
happened to another family.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The time has come where as a society we must question the
value we place on those that are differently abled. There is no room for error
when it comes to the safety of our kids with special needs. Their safety and
security should not be treated as an afterthought. All of those involved with
these incredible kids need to be trained and educated about their nuances.
Especially in a school that serves only special needs kids as is the case with
The Riverview School. Despite the fact that most cases of elopement involving
autistic children do not happen at school, the loss of even one child is too
much. The entire staff needs to be cognizant of the level of danger, but also
the level of trust they are being given when a parent leaves their child in the
care of a school... particularly if that school is specifically for special
needs children.</div>
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I was proud to see <a href="http://www.autismspeaks.org/about-us/press-releases/autism-speaks-national-center-missing-and-exploited-children-partner-wandering">Autism Speaks announce that they were teaming up with the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children</a> to develop a new program that will provide
resources, educate and raise awareness of the dangers of wandering as it pertains
to autistic children. <a href="http://www.autismspeaks.org/news/news-item/quotavonte039s-lawquot-looks-fund-tracking-devices-children-autism">Autism
Speaks also took part in U.S. Senator Chuck Schumer’s (D-NY) proposed “Avonte’s
Law”</a>, a bill that would start and fund programs to provide voluntary GPS
tracking devices for autistic children similar to the programs that have are in
place for Alzheimer’s patients.</div>
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But that is not enough. We need to address this issue at the
national level and I would like for <a href="http://www2.ed.gov/news/staff/bios/duncan.html">US Secretary of Education
Arne Duncan</a> to focus on providing children with special needs a safe
learning environment in which parents do not have to fear that dropping their
child off at school could be the last time they see them. Everything should be
on the table and each policy and procedure should be gone over with a fine
toothed comb.</div>
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No family should have to endure the 109 day nightmare that
Avonte's family has lived these past few months. Please do not let the death of
Avonte Oquendo be in vain. Let his legacy be that we learn from this tragic
event so that all children will return home from school safely.</div>
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<a href="https://www.change.org/petitions/arne-duncan-make-our-schools-safer-for-children-with-special-needs">Please
sign and share this petition asking U.S. Secretary of Education Arne Duncan to
Make our Schools Safer for Children with Special Needs.</a><br /><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIAhG8I2nH1Swm4ctD29p0eDnS85XonfY5lRxnz4zdEFsdc-BsFFLFV16HLN-sKwAKUQ4eltBWQqSUIKtvR8_Ic5LjEW-IWWC948xCx6lNlzzfLK3VzgUJkTU8kTx9HqlHuEncpszkVi46/s1600/remembering+avonte.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIAhG8I2nH1Swm4ctD29p0eDnS85XonfY5lRxnz4zdEFsdc-BsFFLFV16HLN-sKwAKUQ4eltBWQqSUIKtvR8_Ic5LjEW-IWWC948xCx6lNlzzfLK3VzgUJkTU8kTx9HqlHuEncpszkVi46/s1600/remembering+avonte.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17794074464910523454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7002873379688473739.post-11644083385891580932013-12-13T16:47:00.000-06:002013-12-13T16:56:49.342-06:00VICTORY! - Comcast/NBCU and ABA Coverage<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaGWFJZUMGhtvHqeHB9gM8GjZA-jSjN-81wlBF5iCYhO78VrW7xUuNSXZHFr10yHlxGY1p52N1pPG94l33qfBv0tLfXpBvu5TDFBFmNy8D6LOdQocsVm_BqvwhZABvowk7GeShyQTgdQ1N/s1600/comcast+NBCU.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaGWFJZUMGhtvHqeHB9gM8GjZA-jSjN-81wlBF5iCYhO78VrW7xUuNSXZHFr10yHlxGY1p52N1pPG94l33qfBv0tLfXpBvu5TDFBFmNy8D6LOdQocsVm_BqvwhZABvowk7GeShyQTgdQ1N/s1600/comcast+NBCU.jpg" height="216" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">As many of you know on
April 2nd, 2013 I released <a href="http://www.lous-land.blogspot.com/2013/04/an-open-letter-to-comcast-ceo-brian.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #1155cc;">"An Open Letter to Comcast CEO
Brian Roberts and NBCU CEO Steve Burke"</span></a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In the letter, I
pleaded with Mr. Roberts and Mr. Burke as fathers to do the right thing and
voluntarily elect meaningful autism benefits (ABA) to our company’s self-funded
insurance plan.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I can honestly say that
I thought I would be fired.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">There were a few
things in my favor. My new boss has been a friend since 1995 and I went to him
before I released the letter and asked him for his advice before I published
it. He was incredibly supportive as were all of my fellow employees. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a name='more'></a></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I was also lucky
enough as many of you know to develop great friendships with the Autism Speaks
Government Relations Team. Peter Bell (no longer with Autism Speaks), Lorri
Unumb, Mike Wasmer, Judith Ursitti and Shelley Hendrix are not just people that
work at AS to me... they are my friends. They are my mentors and my confidants.
They fed me so much information over the past 2 years and gave me so much support,
that I do not believe for one second that I would have known how to go about
pressuring my employer to change their policy. They stood ready to go and meet
with Comcast/NBCU and explain how adding meaningful autism benefits would be a
win/win for the company.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My friendship with
them stemmed from <a href="http://blog.autismspeaks.org/2011/10/25/lou-melgarejo-2011-speak-out-award-recipient/">my
receiving the Speak Out Award in 2011</a> for <a href="http://youtu.be/z2B1FeS5VX4">“Fixing” Autism</a>. I have written about
the meaning behind the video before, but I will save you the time and let you
know that the video was about autism insurance reform and my anger at my
insurance provider for denying Bianca continued speech therapy because she was
not showing “Significant improvement”. While some erroneously thought I somehow
viewed autistic people as being broken, I was in fact talking about the system
and how unfair, unjust, discriminatory and flawed it was for autistic people.<br />
<br />
It took a while after releasing the letter, but on June 20th, things
started to move. I received an email at work from the VP of Human Resources at
NBCU Patricia Langer saying that CEO Steve Burke had seen the letter and that
she had been instructed to reach out to me. If there was anything she could do,
"Let me know" she said.<br />
<br />
I was cautiously optimistic, and it seemed well founded as my repeated request
for Lorri and her team to meet with NBCU was not well received. I sent emails
and left voicemails but communication with Ms. Langer stopped. It left a pit in
my stomach. I was certain that my begging for the addition of meaningful autism
benefits was falling on deaf ears.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In the meantime, I
considered leaving my dream job. I had applied for a position at another
television station and was a finalist. Ultimately I did not get offered that
job. I was honest with my potential new employer and told them that I was not
certain that I could even accept the position if offered. I would have to
compare what benefits were offered and decide on what was best for my daughter.
I knew from a friend who worked there and has a son on the spectrum that there
was no ABA benefit at the place I was applying. If I let the job I loved, it
would be mostly for the money. While I was being told that I did not get the
job, the person I was interviewing with (whom I have known for many years and
worked for in the past) informed me to keep an eye on the job postings because
he thought something else may come up and insinuated that the job was mine if I
wanted it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">This job would have
increased my salary by almost 42%. It would have made things much easier for my
family financially. After much discussion with my family, I decided not to
pursue another job. I still had work to do, and I felt like if I left I would
be quitting on more than just a job. I would be quitting what has been a mission
of mine for the past 3 years to get Comcast/NBCU, a Fortune 100 company to
voluntarily elect to provide meaningful autism coverage.<br />
<br />
As open enrollment came, I saw nothing in our benefits package that showed a
change in coverage as it applied to autism and it made me very angry. I felt
dejected and defeated. I have been running low on advocacy energy lately with a
bunch of personal and financial challenges and conflicts and quite frankly, I
did not know if I had another run left in me. Not pursuing a change in
employment looked like it was coming back to haunt me after a summer that saw
our central air need to be replaced, our man-van die and the roof on our house
start to disintegrate. On top of that the freelance work that used to help me
supplement my income was now all dried up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Just for kicks... as I
have done every year for the past 4 years I called Acollade and asked them if
they would look into whether or not ABA therapy would be covered in 2014. After
being placed on a short hold the voice on the other end said, "Oh yes...
here it is. Yes we will be covering ABA therapy. It is something new for 2014.
It will be covered at 85% after deductible for in-network and 65% out of
network."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I thought I had heard
wrong. I was sitting at my desk in our busy newsroom and broke down. I am sure
the lady on the other end thought I needed help. She sounded very concerned for
me. The production assistant that was sitting across from me at work tried to
act as though she did not notice a 250 pound man blubbering like a baby. I
asked her to please verify... and she did. She even put me in touch with
somebody from Magellan who will be handling ABA.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">We are still waiting
for all of the details... are there age limits, what is the dollar cap? But the
coverage alone is fantastic.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I did find out that
the change in coverage is for ALL Comcast/NBCU employees.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">That is around 130,000
employees. At 1 in 88, we can estimate that the benefit could positively impact somewhere close to 1500
families. 1500 kids. 1500 people that deserve every possibility to reach their
full potential. That is simply remarkable. With the addition of one tiny
benefit approximately 1500 kids have <a href="http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/ccp/55/1/3/">a 47% chance of reaching a
normal IQ</a>. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">On a personal note, it
was so great being able to deliver this news to my wife. She has been more
deserving of some good news than anybody I know. This has been a very difficult
year for her. On top of our financial challenges, her parents are in failing
health. But hearing the joy in her voice when I gave her the news that ABA was
going to be covered… let me just say… it was a great sound.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I will be completely honest. I do not know if my letter had any impact. I do not know if the change in coverage was already happening and I just happened to publish my open letter... but I know this. I don't care. It doesn't matter WHY it happened. I don't want credit, I don't need to receive a pat on the back. I am just glad it happened.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Thanks again to Lorri Unumb and my friends at Autism Speaks.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Thank
you Patricia Langer Executive Vice President of Human Resources at NBCU.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Thank
you to Brian Roberts and Steve Burke.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">What
you have done with this simple addition in coverage is a game changer on the
autism health insurance reform landscape.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Thank
you for this amazing holiday gift.</span></div>
Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17794074464910523454noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7002873379688473739.post-4188841468107575702013-09-25T13:01:00.001-05:002013-09-25T13:01:58.806-05:00The Mickey Mouse Club-bing<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1e17D_5qtcHvCEviAdTYG_3AjeAd2ea0IYs8o3EroExY9LVwoQEe-7tf0wCpOnOPwO5AYKFN7mQFn4VeGWMekgN2Dmip5uoIg1D_bFYeQ89bdycDFXRZ4XhECvihvOx_pA7EI01cZ-uus/s1600/frankenstein-angry-mob.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1e17D_5qtcHvCEviAdTYG_3AjeAd2ea0IYs8o3EroExY9LVwoQEe-7tf0wCpOnOPwO5AYKFN7mQFn4VeGWMekgN2Dmip5uoIg1D_bFYeQ89bdycDFXRZ4XhECvihvOx_pA7EI01cZ-uus/s400/frankenstein-angry-mob.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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The State of Illinois passed measures to change their policy
regarding handicap placards and parking meters.<o:p></o:p></div>
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As it currently stands, if you have a handicap plate you
need not feed the meters. You can park at any metered spot and not have to
worry about having to return in two hours to feed the meter or looking for
specific handicapped parking spots. The city does offer those as well in case
people with disabilities have trouble finding parking.<o:p></o:p></div>
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This policy has saved my family immeasurably. We have a
disability plate so that we can park close to stores. Bianca, as I have written
about, is an eloper. She also LOVES to go to the store. Leaving... not so much.
Often times I have had to drag her out in the middle of a meltdown with the
other two kids in tow, so being close to the store makes that all a little more
manageable.</div>
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The current policy allows for us to save on the expensive
lots in Chicago if we decide to go to the museums or Lincoln Park Zoo or even
walk around the Magnificent Mile. I know saving $25 doesn’t sound like a lot,
but every little bit helps when you have medical bills like most autism
families do.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The problem is that <a href="http://www.suntimes.com/news/watchdogs/8725025-452/thousands-of-handicapped-parking-placards-dozens-of-scams.html">the
current system is being abused</a> and due to a horrible contract signed by the
Daley Administration that leased out the parking meters, the City of Chicago is
held responsible for the financial loss of the city’s handicap parking policy.
In other words, the company that owns the meters surveys how many paid spots
are being taken up by handicapped plates and the city must REIMBURSE the company
for lost revenue, a price tag that <a href="http://www.suntimes.com/news/watchdogs/20864602-452/new-placards-aim-to-beat-disability-parking-cheats.html">has
totaled some $55 million dollars</a>.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So in an effort to curb off the corruption within the system
that was exposed in a <a href="http://www.suntimes.com/news/watchdogs/8725025-452/thousands-of-handicapped-parking-placards-dozens-of-scams.html">2011
investigative piece by the Chicago Sun-Times</a>, the State passed a new and
more selective policy on free parking. This new policy now eliminates my family
and most If not all autism families from being able to enjoy the benefits of
parking for free.<br />
<br />
The new law requires that the driver live in Illinois (we live just across the
border in Indiana, so we are out right from the get go) and meet one of the
following requirements:</div>
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<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Manage, manipulate or insert coins, or
obtain tickets or tokens in parking meters or ticket machines in parking lots
or parking structures, due to the lack of fine motor control of BOTH hands;</span></li>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Reach above his/her head to a height of
42 inches from the ground, due to a lack of finger, hand or upper-extremity
strength or mobility;</span></li>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Approach a parking meter due to a
wheelchair or other device for mobility; or</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Walk more than 20 feet due to an orthopedic,
neurological, cardiovascular or lung condition in which the degree of
debilitation is so severe that it almost completely impedes the ability to
walk.</span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you notice, the policy says nothing about having children
with disabilities. <a href="http://www.cyberdriveillinois.com/services/persons_with_disabilities/disabilitiesfaq.html">If
you have a child with a disability you no longer qualify for free parking</a>.
Forget autistic children for a second and imagine having to go by yourself with
your wheelchair bound child someplace and how convenient it was to just pull up
to ANY metered spot, park and be on your way.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now who is to blame for this? Who should we direct our anger
towards? The City of Chicago? The State of Illinois? Nope.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We should blame the abusers of the system. THEY should be
the ones that feel our wrath. The State had no choice but to change the policy.
Now the NEW policy eliminates many people that benefitted from meter exempt parking.
In an ideal world, the State who put the initial policy out there in good faith
and with good intentions should never have had to amend it. They were left with
no choice because of the ABUSERS.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I bring all of this up to draw a parallel with the <a href="http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/disneyland-change-access-program-disabled-article-1.1465217">change
in policy at Disney theme parks</a>.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know you are hurt and angry and pissed and WHY US?!? Haven’t
we put up with enough already? We had a good thing going and now we are having
it taken away! The old policy made it PERFECT for our kids. Just jump the line.
No waiting. Limiting the meltdown window for our kids is so important and can
make the difference between a pleasurable experience and a challenging/stressful
one.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I get it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The thing is, Disney is not the problem here. The State of
Illinois and City of Chicago are not the problem either. Humanity is… or a lack
thereof. <br />
<br />
Disney appears to want to hear from our families. Today they are talking with <a href="http://adiaryofamom.wordpress.com/">Jess from Diary of a Mom</a> who <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jess-wilson/taken-for-a-ride_b_3975880.html">wrote
a great piece on the subject for Huffington Post</a>. Disney has gone on record
to say that <a href="http://www.autismspeaks.org/news/news-item/autism-speaks-responds-disney-policy-change">their
policy is not yet set in stone and that it is evolving</a>.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So be angry. I just ask that we direct our anger at the
appropriate source.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_ukeNSslkRz9wlw8jmmLBKBTtseY4m6Ut46KhG8APLYqGZ2joMTgkGM5zSthZ8znq7d6A0PdXR38INFLW-n23hd4r2DOhUndzSvU2GfjdI8zx6ujLbCXTlM77aVHJIj1YkkUk5YAc0WN1/s1600/divider.gif" imageanchor="1" style="color: #6c91ce; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" height="70" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_ukeNSslkRz9wlw8jmmLBKBTtseY4m6Ut46KhG8APLYqGZ2joMTgkGM5zSthZ8znq7d6A0PdXR38INFLW-n23hd4r2DOhUndzSvU2GfjdI8zx6ujLbCXTlM77aVHJIj1YkkUk5YAc0WN1/s200/divider.gif" style="border: none; position: relative;" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">
<br />
<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you have not already, please take time to watch my videos, </span><a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2011/08/fixing-autism.html" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Fixing" Autism</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and <a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2012/02/autism-awarenessskyscraper-by-demi.html" target="_blank">Autism Awareness with Nichole337</a> and share them with your friends.</span></i></span></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #333333;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><br /></i></span></span></span><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To keep up to date with everying in Lou's Land, please subscribe to my blog. "Like" Lou's Land on </span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/lousland" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Facebook</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and follow Lou's Land on </span><span style="color: #6699cc; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.twitter.com/lousland" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;">Twitter</a></span></i></span></span></div>
</div>
Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17794074464910523454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7002873379688473739.post-91119915989136762042013-08-28T13:05:00.000-05:002013-08-28T13:10:56.151-05:00My Dream<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguf01YZqm1evP1JbgWnAYPRs1gkxItxdgyYGL-AkRThPSPPjyTX1qKXl_9PFgcp7KPQ540PULijj9wDJoZRt37_qEdRBRZ1HvxqnPgVqWi6vVIov1evQ1urt9eKsGmdJSPSVUDi_LYvKVI/s1600/DSC02896.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguf01YZqm1evP1JbgWnAYPRs1gkxItxdgyYGL-AkRThPSPPjyTX1qKXl_9PFgcp7KPQ540PULijj9wDJoZRt37_qEdRBRZ1HvxqnPgVqWi6vVIov1evQ1urt9eKsGmdJSPSVUDi_LYvKVI/s400/DSC02896.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<br />
Last year I attended the Annual Law Summit presented by
Autism Speaks. It was my first time in the nation’s capital. There was one
place I knew I had to go while I was there... the Lincoln Memorial. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not only did I want to go because of what Lincoln had
accomplished or because of his ties to my home state. I wanted to stand in the
place where the greatest speech on equality was ever given. Not just to honor
the work and legacy of Dr. King but to invigorate my own personal battle for
equality within our healthcare system and to end clear discrimination that
autistic people face when it comes to health insurance coverage. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<a name='more'></a><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
We are living with a system that is unfair, unjust and
immoral. We are living with a system in which the health of the people is secondary
to profit. We are living with a system in which our healthcare insurance works
perfectly fine… as long as you are healthy. We are living with a system that
forces us to accept that one of the very inalienable rights promised to us by
our forefathers is now a privilege.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I stood there I contemplated how if I ate myself to Type
II diabetes my insurance would pay for my treatment. If I gorged myself to the
point I could not leave my couch, my insurance would cover my gastric bypass
surgery. If I smoked myself to lung cancer, my insurance would cover the
treatment. If I was allergic to kitty, insurance would cover my allergy shots.
If I wanted to pay a little extra for kitty to have FULL HEALTHCARE coverage, I
could even elect to do that. Then I thought about how so many autistic children
and young adults could not get the treatment they required because insurance
companies do not have to provide it. These often times are children with a world of
potential that will never see it realized not because of a LIFESTYLE CHOICE…
but through no fault of their own. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In my dream, I see a world in which parents do not have to
lose sleep or everything that they have worked to build in order to provide
their child the opportunity to reach their full potential. In my dream, I see
healthcare coverage being provided because humanity has won out over greed. In
my dream, I see Bianca being allowed to become the best Bianca she can be.<br />
<br />
It is long past the time to make that dream a reality.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
50 years ago today, Dr. King shared his dream with us. The interesting thing about the speech to me is that while it is about racial intolerance, it is really more about equality... period. Watch it again with autism health reform in mind and you see how the grand themes of the speech address inequality everywhere.<br /><br /><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/smEqnnklfYs?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
"Injustice anywhere is a threat the justice everywhere." - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_ukeNSslkRz9wlw8jmmLBKBTtseY4m6Ut46KhG8APLYqGZ2joMTgkGM5zSthZ8znq7d6A0PdXR38INFLW-n23hd4r2DOhUndzSvU2GfjdI8zx6ujLbCXTlM77aVHJIj1YkkUk5YAc0WN1/s1600/divider.gif" imageanchor="1" style="color: #6c91ce; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" height="70" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_ukeNSslkRz9wlw8jmmLBKBTtseY4m6Ut46KhG8APLYqGZ2joMTgkGM5zSthZ8znq7d6A0PdXR38INFLW-n23hd4r2DOhUndzSvU2GfjdI8zx6ujLbCXTlM77aVHJIj1YkkUk5YAc0WN1/s200/divider.gif" style="border: none; position: relative;" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">
<br />
<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you have not already, please take time to watch my videos, </span><a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2011/08/fixing-autism.html" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Fixing" Autism</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and <a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2012/02/autism-awarenessskyscraper-by-demi.html" target="_blank">Autism Awareness with Nichole337</a> and share them with your friends.</span></i></span></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #333333;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><br /></i></span></span></span><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To keep up to date with everying in Lou's Land, please subscribe to my blog. "Like" Lou's Land on </span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/lousland" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Facebook</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and follow Lou's Land on </span><span style="color: #6699cc; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.twitter.com/lousland" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;">Twitter</a></span></i></span></span></div>
</div>
Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17794074464910523454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7002873379688473739.post-7226400732931681472013-08-21T21:56:00.000-05:002013-08-21T21:56:58.291-05:00A Spectrum of Similarities<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw25hCIFn__PjE5HEA8F1VXwxf7ttHuhN83dbhewYOPncMpv_Mn9n1si1fWeDlG6PWqrPDF-kB917dT9W-5PWsxG5dXTbtfHHpXclOdIn9f5Q75yMb0TJ5ASCq6xWAATg6JhT0dWxKBFlb/s1600/pissed+off+mother.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw25hCIFn__PjE5HEA8F1VXwxf7ttHuhN83dbhewYOPncMpv_Mn9n1si1fWeDlG6PWqrPDF-kB917dT9W-5PWsxG5dXTbtfHHpXclOdIn9f5Q75yMb0TJ5ASCq6xWAATg6JhT0dWxKBFlb/s400/pissed+off+mother.jpg" width="292" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I read that <a href="http://gawker.com/shockingly-hateful-letter-targets-family-with-autistic-1167792605?utm_campaign=socialflow_gawker_facebook&utm_source=gawker_facebook&utm_medium=socialflow">horrible
letter by that horrible person</a> I focused on the words that were written.
There were words being used to describe young Max that were vile… disgusting…
evil. Then I started to realize that
those words were not being used to describe Max at all. They were venom… nothing
more and nothing less.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<a name='more'></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So what words could be used to describe Max? I don’t have
access to his family, but I do have access to a lot of others. So I asked on
the <a href="http://www.facebook.com/RealDadsofAutism">Real Husbands of Autism</a>
page for parents and autistics alike to throw out one word to describe the
autistic loved one in their life, or themselves if they were autistic. In a
short amount of time we had over 125 descriptions and you know what is
interesting about them? Not one of them was used by that hateful person in the
letter aimed at Max.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Do you want to know why? Because she doesn't KNOW Max. All
she knows is hate.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But when you ask for a description of an autistic person
that comes from a place of familiarity, you get an entirely different set of
words to describe people on the spectrum. And speaking of spectrum, there was
something else I noticed.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We have all heard the saying, “If you have met one person
with autism, you have met ONE person with autism”. That is true if we are
talking about quirks, stims, sensitivities… but what I discovered is that is
not so true when we look at the content of their character. As I read each
boastful description, I noticed that the author’s sons and daughters could
easily be my daughter. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Suddenly that “spectrum” did not seem so wide. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And with that revelation, the anger and hate I had in my
heart towards that “pissed off mother” turned to pity. I feel bad for her. I
feel bad that she clearly has not been surrounded by anybody that can be
described by the following terms… the words used to describe so many fabulous
and loved autistic people.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As you read them, ask yourself if they apply to your loved
one or to yourself if you are autistic and allow the smile to come across your
face and the warmth to envelope your body.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Adventurer, affectionate, alert, amazing, angelic, artistic,
astounding, awe-inspiring, awesome, awesomesauce, ballsy, beautiful, beloved, big-boy,
bouncy, brooding, captivating, character, charmer, charming, clown, comedic, commander,
complex, counselor, courageous, creative, cuddly, deep, destructive, destructor,
determined, dinolicious, diva, effervescent, efficient, energetic, enigma, enigmatic,
enthusiastic, epic, excited, exuberant, fabulous, fantastic, fearless, fun, fun-loving,
funny, gamer, genius, gentle, giggler, giggly, gift, happy, heartfelt, heartwarming,
hero, hilarious, honest, huggable, hysterical, imaginative, impish, impulsive, incredible,
innocent, inquisitive, insatiable, intelligent, intense, inventive, irreplaceable,
joyful, laughing, loud, love, loving, loyal, magnificent, marvelous, masterpiece
math, mischievous, moving, musical, ninja, pedantic, precious, precocious, princess,
quirky, rawrsome, relentless, roller-coaster-junkie, savior, scientist, sensitive,
serious, shredder, silly, smug, soft-toy-humper, spider-man, spinner, stinker, strong,
suave, sunshine, suspicious, sweet, sweetheart, taperecorderwizard, tender, unstoppable,
vivacious, volatile, whimsical, whirlwind, wild, wonderful<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">When we talk of a “spectrum” we focus on the
differences. Perhaps we need to focus on the similarities.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbwG7v4mPc8QUx4wYWCVKHy8I3ZdQlPxM4q7rVAroDmB8aSeF3qcuNPNEPWLrD_MMWLBE7zu9KBz_ZRjAf0jKxXxV2wnhrJ5JoWob0qHuKBzMLpjDkJjzu9F-chYBaVXKDteybNyPB1fEl/s1600/bianca+swing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="313" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbwG7v4mPc8QUx4wYWCVKHy8I3ZdQlPxM4q7rVAroDmB8aSeF3qcuNPNEPWLrD_MMWLBE7zu9KBz_ZRjAf0jKxXxV2wnhrJ5JoWob0qHuKBzMLpjDkJjzu9F-chYBaVXKDteybNyPB1fEl/s640/bianca+swing.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This amazing kid is mine... but she is so much like yours. She is loved.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_ukeNSslkRz9wlw8jmmLBKBTtseY4m6Ut46KhG8APLYqGZ2joMTgkGM5zSthZ8znq7d6A0PdXR38INFLW-n23hd4r2DOhUndzSvU2GfjdI8zx6ujLbCXTlM77aVHJIj1YkkUk5YAc0WN1/s1600/divider.gif" imageanchor="1" style="color: #6c91ce; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" height="70" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_ukeNSslkRz9wlw8jmmLBKBTtseY4m6Ut46KhG8APLYqGZ2joMTgkGM5zSthZ8znq7d6A0PdXR38INFLW-n23hd4r2DOhUndzSvU2GfjdI8zx6ujLbCXTlM77aVHJIj1YkkUk5YAc0WN1/s200/divider.gif" style="border: none; position: relative;" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you have not already, please take time to watch my videos, </span><a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2011/08/fixing-autism.html" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Fixing" Autism</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and <a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2012/02/autism-awarenessskyscraper-by-demi.html" target="_blank">Autism Awareness with Nichole337</a> and share them with your friends.</span></i></span></span></span></div>
<div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><br /></i></span></span></span><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To keep up to date with everying in Lou's Land, please subscribe to my blog. "Like" Lou's Land on </span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/lousland" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Facebook</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and follow Lou's Land on </span><span style="color: #6699cc; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.twitter.com/lousland" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;">Twitter</a></span></i></span></span></div>
Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17794074464910523454noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7002873379688473739.post-1599745978018311552013-07-21T20:35:00.004-05:002013-07-23T14:16:20.157-05:00J. Cole's Sincere Apology to Autism Community<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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My dad always used to tell me that a real man admits his
mistakes, and then does something to rectify them.<o:p></o:p></div>
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J. Cole has done exactly that.<o:p></o:p><br />
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As many of you have probably read, <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lou-melgarejo/autism-rap-music_b_3596790.html">I
wrote a piece for Huffington Post</a> about some insensitive lyrics in the song
“Jodeci Freestyle” by Drake ft. Dennis Graham and J. Cole. It was a tough post
to write because I have a lot of respect for letting artists be creative and I abhor
censorship. So my call was not so much for the lyrics to be changed, or even a
call for an apology. I just wanted these artists to know that in a community
that needs help in lowering the age of diagnosis and access to early
intervention therapy, they could use their voices and clout to educate instead
of denigrate.<o:p></o:p></div>
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J. Cole took to his <a href="http://www.dreamvillain.net/autismspeaks/">blog to issue the following statement:</a><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="color: #404040; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Recently there’s been a trend that includes rappers saying
something<br />
offensive, only to be attacked for it in the media and pressured to<br />
apologize. I have to be completely honest and say there’s a part of me<br />
that resents that. I view rap similar to how I view comedy. It’s going<br />
to ruffle feathers at times. It’s going to go “too far”. I do not<br />
believe that an apology is needed every time someone is offended,<br />
especially when that apology is really only for the sake of saving an<br />
endorsement or cleaning up bad press.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #404040; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">With that said, this is not
the case today. This letter is sincere.<br />
This apology IS necessary.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #404040; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">In a recent verse on the
song “Jodeci Freestyle”, I said something<br />
highly offensive to people with Autism. Last week, when I first saw a<br />
comment from someone outraged about the lyric, I realized right away<br />
that what I said was wrong. I was instantly embarrassed that I would<br />
be ignorant enough say something so hurtful. What makes the crime<br />
worse is that I should have known better.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #404040; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">To the entire Autism
community who expressed outrage, I’m moved and<br />
inspired by your passion, and I’m amazed at how strong you are as a<br />
unit. I have now read stories online from parents about their<br />
struggles and triumphs with raising an Autistic child and I admire how<br />
incredibly strong you have to be to do so. It’s touching. It also<br />
makes what I said even more embarrassing for me. I feel real shame.<br />
You have every right to be angry.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #404040; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">To anyone suffering from
Autism, either mildly or severely, I am<br />
sorry. I’m bound to make mistakes in my life, but in my heart I just<br />
want to spread Love.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #404040; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I want to educate myself
more on Autism, and I’ll gladly own my<br />
mistake and serve as an example to today’s generation that there’s<br />
nothing cool about mean-spirited comments about someone with Autism.<br />
People with this disorder and their loved ones have to go through so<br />
much already, the last thing they need is to hear something as<br />
ignorant as what I said. I understand.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #404040; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">To the parents who are
fighting through the frustrations that must<br />
come with raising a child with severe autism, finding strength and<br />
patience that they never knew they had; to the college student with<br />
Asperger’s Syndrome; to all those overcoming Autism. You deserve<br />
medals, not disrespect. I hope you accept my sincere apology.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #404040; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Much Love<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #404040; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">-Cole</span></div>
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J. Cole did not have to do that. He could have ignored the
Tweets and negative comments and they would have lost steam. Instead he owned
it and in doing so has gained a lot of respect from me and hopefully a lot of
you out there as well.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I am sure there will be skeptics, but I am a glass is half-full kinda guy. I have also made my fair share of mistakes. I was painfully ignorant to sensitivities such as these before I was personally affected, and unfortunately I do not think that is out of the norm. So please take this apology at face value. In order for there to be progress, there has to be enlightenment followed by forgiveness.</div>
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I would like to encourage you to let J. Cole know how much
you appreciate taking the time to address this issue, and more importantly for
the sincere apology and time he clearly spent on the matter.<o:p></o:p></div>
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You can reach J. Cole via Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/JColeNC">@JColeNC</a><o:p></o:p></div>
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You can message him <a href="http://www.facebook.com/JColeMusic">on his Facebook Page</a><o:p></o:p></div>
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You can <a href="http://www.dreamvillain.net/autismspeaks/">comment
on his blog post</a> as well.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Thank you... and thank you J. Cole. That was a stand-up and
classy move.<o:p></o:p><br />
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<span style="color: red;">Update (07/23/2013):</span><br />
<span style="color: red;"><br /></span>
<a href="https://twitter.com/Drake">Drake</a> has also issued a statement<a href="http://octobersveryown.blogspot.com/"> on his blog</a> saying:<br /><br /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;">"J.Cole wrote a beautiful and moving apology to individuals and families affected by autism who were understandably hurt by a verse in "Jodeci Freestyle". I share responsibility and offer my sincerest apologies for the pain this has caused. Individuals with autism have brilliant and creative minds, and their gifts should not be disparaged or discounted. This was a learning lesson for both of us, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to try to right this wrong. J. Cole and I believe that it is the right, responsible, and respectful decision to remove the lyric from the song."</span><br /><br />
I think this shows incredible character and respect and I thank Drake and J. Cole bother for the thought and attention they have given this issue. Please be sure to thank Drake as well.<br /><br />You can reach Drake via Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/Drake">@Drake</a><br />
You can leave a <a href="https://www.facebook.com/Drake">post on his Facebook Page</a><br />
You can also <a href="http://octobersveryown.blogspot.com/">comment on his blog post</a>.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_ukeNSslkRz9wlw8jmmLBKBTtseY4m6Ut46KhG8APLYqGZ2joMTgkGM5zSthZ8znq7d6A0PdXR38INFLW-n23hd4r2DOhUndzSvU2GfjdI8zx6ujLbCXTlM77aVHJIj1YkkUk5YAc0WN1/s1600/divider.gif" imageanchor="1" style="color: #6c91ce; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" height="70" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_ukeNSslkRz9wlw8jmmLBKBTtseY4m6Ut46KhG8APLYqGZ2joMTgkGM5zSthZ8znq7d6A0PdXR38INFLW-n23hd4r2DOhUndzSvU2GfjdI8zx6ujLbCXTlM77aVHJIj1YkkUk5YAc0WN1/s200/divider.gif" style="border: none; position: relative;" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you have not already, please take time to watch my videos, </span><a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2011/08/fixing-autism.html" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Fixing" Autism</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and <a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2012/02/autism-awarenessskyscraper-by-demi.html" target="_blank">Autism Awareness with Nichole337</a> and share them with your friends.</span></i></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><br /></i></span></span></span><span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><br /></i></span></span></span><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To keep up to date with everying in Lou's Land, please subscribe to my blog. "Like" Lou's Land on </span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/lousland" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Facebook</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and follow Lou's Land on </span><span style="color: #6699cc; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.twitter.com/lousland" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;">Twitter</a></span></i></span></span></div>
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Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17794074464910523454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7002873379688473739.post-81208873971778592502013-07-08T21:20:00.001-05:002013-07-08T21:40:49.852-05:0030 Lessons Learned<div class="MsoNormal">
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<br />
I thought I would take a moment and share with you some of
the important lessons I have learned raising an autistic child. You may want to
tuck these away in the ole memory banks so that you can call on them when need
be. Here are 30 in no particular order…<o:p></o:p></div>
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<ol>
<li>Clothes are completely optional… at least in the
house.</li>
<li>Socks do not always have to be worn on feet.</li>
<li>Laughter IS contagious.</li>
<li>So is crying.</li>
<li>Not being able to talk does not mean a person is
dumb.</li>
<li>Every once in a while, repeat back your child’s
babbling. Watch their face light up.</li>
<li>Talk to your child in age appropriate language.
You’ll be surprised by what they know and retain.</li>
<li>Eating utensils are completely overrated… except
for soup.</li>
<li>Celebrate each milestone with your child like
they won the Super Bowl.</li>
<li>Know that if you do something a certain way just
one time… you may be doing it that way every time.</li>
<li>Keep your expectations high, but be patient with
your child meeting them.</li>
<li>As best you can, include your kid in everything.</li>
<li>Be careful in how you phrase things. The literal
mind is a funny thing. That is why when pointing to a Coke can and asking what
it is, you get answers like “K”, scratch your head, then realize that you were
pointing to the “K” on the can.</li>
<li>Doctors may have degrees in their respective fields,
but the parent has a Doctorate in their child.</li>
<li>Don’t focus on what your child can’t do, focus
on what your child CAN do… and build on that.</li>
<li>When dealing with rude people in public, kill
them with kindness. Use that opportunity to educate … unless they are assholes.
Then screw ‘em.</li>
<li>Those quirky movements your autistic kid is
making with his/her hands… yeah, that might just be sign language. (Thank
goodness for YouTube)</li>
<li>Asking for help is OK… in fact I encourage it.</li>
<li>Make a date night with your spouse/partner. If
you don’t cultivate the soil, plants can’t grow.</li>
<li>It is OK to think about the way things could
have been every once in a while. It is not OK to live there.</li>
<li>Laugh.</li>
<li>Chocolate pudding can look a lot like something
else… but smells a whole lot nicer. Celebrate when it is pudding.</li>
<li>If you keep your kid in a size 6 diaper long
enough, eventually it looks like a thong.</li>
<li>See your child stimming? Let them… as long as it
isn’t hurting them.</li>
<li>The system sucks.</li>
<li>It doesn’t matter to me if you call somebody
“autistic” or “with autism”. What matters is intent. It does however matter to
a lot of autistics. So maybe we should listen.</li>
<li>In almost every instance there will be growth.
It may not be the way you envisioned it and It may not be as much as you want…
but more than likely there will be growth.</li>
<li>Know where every neighborhood pool is… I
guarantee you your child does.</li>
<li>NEVER let your guard down. I know it is
exhausting, but you just can’t afford to do it.</li>
<li>Give your child space when they need it.</li>
</ol>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_ukeNSslkRz9wlw8jmmLBKBTtseY4m6Ut46KhG8APLYqGZ2joMTgkGM5zSthZ8znq7d6A0PdXR38INFLW-n23hd4r2DOhUndzSvU2GfjdI8zx6ujLbCXTlM77aVHJIj1YkkUk5YAc0WN1/s1600/divider.gif" imageanchor="1" style="color: #6c91ce; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" height="70" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_ukeNSslkRz9wlw8jmmLBKBTtseY4m6Ut46KhG8APLYqGZ2joMTgkGM5zSthZ8znq7d6A0PdXR38INFLW-n23hd4r2DOhUndzSvU2GfjdI8zx6ujLbCXTlM77aVHJIj1YkkUk5YAc0WN1/s200/divider.gif" style="border: none; position: relative;" width="200" /></a></div>
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<br />
<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you have not already, please take time to watch my videos, </span><a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2011/08/fixing-autism.html" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Fixing" Autism</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and <a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2012/02/autism-awarenessskyscraper-by-demi.html" target="_blank">Autism Awareness with Nichole337</a> and share them with your friends.</span></i></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><br /></i></span></span></span><span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><br /></i></span></span></span><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To keep up to date with everying in Lou's Land, please subscribe to my blog. "Like" Lou's Land on </span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/lousland" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Facebook</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and follow Lou's Land on </span><span style="color: #6699cc; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.twitter.com/lousland" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;">Twitter</a></span></i></span></span></div>
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Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17794074464910523454noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7002873379688473739.post-28974664064044387602013-05-28T12:43:00.002-05:002013-07-08T21:19:54.930-05:00Guess what?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyP296t_vlTIqc0GEagHa2e6YWLBBmbUgM-f_c2nSKpd0XqtP3uSJ0npow7xohBp1engUX8sDW5TIeZ_MW2NzSGWAr2AVBtF9dxc7wX0syQZl_PgIFiZOfBKwGPTRy8VNLHxVST7kNLVkM/s1600/Animal+-+Bird+-+Chicken.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="403" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyP296t_vlTIqc0GEagHa2e6YWLBBmbUgM-f_c2nSKpd0XqtP3uSJ0npow7xohBp1engUX8sDW5TIeZ_MW2NzSGWAr2AVBtF9dxc7wX0syQZl_PgIFiZOfBKwGPTRy8VNLHxVST7kNLVkM/s640/Animal+-+Bird+-+Chicken.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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One of the things that I truly appreciate about Bianca is
the level of our communication. I understand her like no other person. I know
what she means when she furrows a brow just so, squeals a certain way or pulls
my hand in a certain direction… and of course when she just plain asks for
stuff.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Her speech is coming
along pretty well. More and more she asks for specific things or uses words to
describe her environment. Just the other night while at a party she told me
“Back home” when she clearly had enough of the environment and all that was
going on. That certainly makes things easier and has led to a lot less
meltdowns over time, but despite all the advancements her level of
communication is still quite different and definitely well behind that of a NT
7 year old.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I don’t know why this particular thing I am about to share
is such a source of pride and joy for me. It seems so incredibly silly… ridiculous
really. But maybe that is exactly the reason why. It is just fun.<o:p></o:p></div>
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As a dad, one of my goals has always been about creating “moments”;
Snapshots in time that my kids will be able to look back upon long after I am gone
and smile about. One of those things that I share with my kids is when I go to
work. We have a ritual. It isn’t just OK to casually wave goodbye to me… there
is a whole routine. We make a big production out of it. I get a hug, a kiss, a high-5,
a zerbert (Cosby fans are familiar with this… it is basically forming a seal on
the persons skin and blowing to create a farting noise) and a secret handshake.
We laugh and the kids try to outdo one another with BIGGER hugs, kisses and
zerberts than the other. It makes it tough to get out of the house quickly, but
the smiles and laughs are well worth it.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Another example of a “moment” I have created is that when I
ask my kids, “Guess what?” they quickly respond “Chicken butt”. Then we have a
good laugh. It is completely corny. I revel when a stranger asks my kids the
same question only to have “Chicken butt” thrown right in their face. Their
look of shock fills me with a strange sense of pride.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We have expanded it to include, “Guess why? Chicken thigh”
and “Guess who? Chicken poo!”… We are REALLY clever.<o:p></o:p></div>
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While I include all three kids in these activities, Bianca’s
level of participation is slightly less enthusiastic at times. She loves the
goodbye routine minus the secret handshake. She just doesn’t seem to care for
that part of the ritual. With the “Guess what?” banter she doesn’t really
participate because her echolalia usually kicks in when you say, “Guess what?”
and you just have the phrase mirrored back to you.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The other day though something seemed different. She was
talking more than usual. She was particularly attentive to her surroundings and
interactions with me. She was answering a lot of questions about what she
wanted to eat, drink, etc. throughout the day. So I gave it a shot like I had countless times
before…<br />
<br />
“Hey Bianca!” I said excitedly . She looked at me dead in the eyes right away.<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Guess what?!?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Chick-en-butt” she said back to me with incredible over-annunciation
that is just so typical Bianca speech. <o:p></o:p></div>
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A smile broke out across my face and as I high-5’d and
praised Bianca, she returned the smile from ear to ear. We giggled and rolled
around on the floor. Bianca even repeated the game a few more times. It was an
awesome, but silly moment that we got to share together. It was a moment that
helped to strengthen a bond that I already felt was as strong as one could be.
It was magical and comical all at once.<o:p></o:p></div>
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As a dad I had been working hard to create these “moments”
with my kids, things that they could carry with them the rest of their lives… I
guess I never realized that they were creating them for me as well. What a
great gift.<o:p></o:p><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_ukeNSslkRz9wlw8jmmLBKBTtseY4m6Ut46KhG8APLYqGZ2joMTgkGM5zSthZ8znq7d6A0PdXR38INFLW-n23hd4r2DOhUndzSvU2GfjdI8zx6ujLbCXTlM77aVHJIj1YkkUk5YAc0WN1/s1600/divider.gif" imageanchor="1" style="color: #6c91ce; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" height="70" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_ukeNSslkRz9wlw8jmmLBKBTtseY4m6Ut46KhG8APLYqGZ2joMTgkGM5zSthZ8znq7d6A0PdXR38INFLW-n23hd4r2DOhUndzSvU2GfjdI8zx6ujLbCXTlM77aVHJIj1YkkUk5YAc0WN1/s200/divider.gif" style="border: none; position: relative;" width="200" /></a></div>
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<br />
<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you have not already, please take time to watch my videos, </span><a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2011/08/fixing-autism.html" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Fixing" Autism</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and <a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2012/02/autism-awarenessskyscraper-by-demi.html" target="_blank">Autism Awareness with Nichole337</a> and share them with your friends.</span></i></span></span></span></div>
<div style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #333333;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><br /></i></span></span></span><span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><br /></i></span></span></span><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To keep up to date with everying in Lou's Land, please subscribe to my blog. "Like" Lou's Land on </span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/lousland" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Facebook</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and follow Lou's Land on </span><span style="color: #6699cc; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.twitter.com/lousland" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;">Twitter</a></span></i></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17794074464910523454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7002873379688473739.post-52692477272839927182013-04-02T23:11:00.000-05:002013-04-02T23:24:03.240-05:00An Open Letter to Comcast CEO Brian Roberts and NBCU CEO Steve Burke<br />
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Dear Mr. Roberts and Mr. Burke,<o:p></o:p></div>
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My name is Lou Melgarejo and I am a Comcast/NBCU employee. I
have what I consider to be my dream job. I am a married father of three. I am
first and foremost a family man. My oldest daughter is a beautiful, energetic,
happy and incredibly intelligent 7 year old girl named Bianca. Bianca happens
to be autistic. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The <a href="http://www.cdc.gov/features/countingautism/">current
autism diagnosis rate according to the CDC is 1 in 88</a> while a recent study
suggests that <a href="http://www.autismspeaks.org/science/science-news/national-survey-pegs-autism-prevalence-1-50-school-age-children">the
number could be even higher at 1 in 50</a> or 2% of school aged children being
autistic. Our daughter Bianca is one of those 88, but we like to refer to her
as being "1 in a million".<o:p></o:p></div>
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I am writing you this letter on World Autism Awareness Day
so that I may enlighten you about our healthcare plan as it pertains to autism
therapies. I do not believe for one second that the policy as it stands was created intentionally to harm or discriminate against autistic children. I believe that it was created with a lack of awareness. Hopefully this letter will make you more aware. I apologize for reaching out to you in this public forum, but calls
and emails through proper channels proved futile.<br />
<o:p></o:p></div>
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I am requesting that Comcast amend its self-funded
healthcare plan to include coverage of Applied Behavioral Analysis (ABA). As of
my last conversation with Accolade on 04/01/2013, ABA therapy is denied because
it is considered to be "experimental". This is simply not supported
by science. ABA is the most commonly prescribed evidence-based treatment for
Autism Spectrum Disorder with DECADES of research demonstrating the
effectiveness of ABA for autism.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Bianca was diagnosed at the age of 4, but we knew from the
time she was about 13 months that something was different with Bianca. She
stopped responding to her name, she was very late to crawl and walk; she became
engrossed in her toys, lost her words, stopped making eye-contact with us and
isolated herself from other kids. We knew what the diagnosis was going to be
before we even scheduled the appointment. We were realists, and we were
prepared.<o:p></o:p></div>
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What we were not prepared for, was dealing with our health
insurance. Based off of our difficulties in carrying a baby to term and my wife
being high risk, our experience with the insurance coverage through Comcast was
exceptional. Having our babies was an expensive undertaking, yet our insurance
was there to support us and lighten the financial burden every step of the way.
We remain very grateful for that coverage because without it we could have
never realized our dream of starting a family. <o:p></o:p></div>
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That is why it seemed so strange to us that a company that
had already invested so much financially and medically in our daughter would
not want to protect that investment by providing her all the tools she would
need to reach her full potential.<o:p></o:p></div>
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3 years ago our pediatric specialist prescribed ABA therapy
for our daughter, deeming it "Medically Necessary". Unfortunately, as
stated earlier, Comcast does not cover ABA. Even though we live in a state in
which autism insurance reform has been around for years, Comcast does not have
to follow the mandate because self-funded plans follow federal and not state
mandates. There is no federal mandate requiring coverage of ABA therapy... yet.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I hope that you never have to experience a situation in
which you are told your child needs a particular service and you cannot provide
it for them. As a man, it pulls me apart from the very fibers of my being. I
was raised to provide for my family. The out of pocket cost of ABA will not
allow me to provide the therapy for my daughter. Imagine if you could how that
would make you feel. Especially when you read studies like <a href="http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/ccp/55/1/3/">the Lovaas 1987 UCLA study</a>
that showed 47% of children in their ABA group achieved a normal IQ versus 2%
of the children in the control group. Imagine how you would feel as you watch
32 states pass meaningful autism health insurance legislation forcing
fully-funded plans to cover their employees for ABA therapy, yet you are
penalized for having a self-funded plan.
Imagine how hopeless you feel when you see that the <a href="http://profiles.nlm.nih.gov/ps/access/NNBBJC.pdf">United States Surgeon
General</a> has said that the efficacy of applied behavioral methods has been demonstrated for more than
30 years while <a href="http://www.autismspeaks.org/blog/2012/06/06/aba-decision-closer-look">the
US Office of Personnel Management</a> review panel concluded that there was
sufficient evidence to categorize ABA therapy as a medical therapy... yet you
are told by your insurance company that you are being denied because it is
experimental. As a parent of an autistic child, that mixed message is both
depressing and confusing.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The lack of coverage has forced me to look for work
elsewhere in the hopes that I can get my little girl the help her doctor says
is "medically necessary". Do you know that it was even suggested at
one point that my wife and I get divorced because it would mean better coverage
for my daughter by "cheating" the system? I have ZERO desire to leave
my job. I have ZERO desire to divorce my wife. It is depressing to think that I
could be forced into either position over something like better healthcare
coverage for my daughter.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I write to you both in the hopes that you understand the
anguish and stress that this situation lends itself to. I ask you both as
fathers and family men to please address this coverage gap in the Comcast/NBCU
healthcare package. I encourage you to show the world that Comcast and NBCU are
world class operations by joining other companies that have already voluntarily
elected meaningful autism benefits. Companies such as: Microsoft, Cisco,
Deloitte, Intel, Capitol One, Wells Fargo, DTE Energy, Yahoo, Time Warner, Home
Depot and White Castle.<o:p></o:p></div>
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It won't even break the bank. Claims data from across the
country indicate health insurance premiums rise about 32 cents per member per
month. Wouldn't you chip in 32 cents if it meant children would have a better
shot at reaching their full potential? I know I would.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I invite you to spend just a few hours with my daughter. See
for yourself how smart she is, how close she is to blossoming, how great a kid
she is. Bianca is pure potential. She just needs a little help. She needs the
therapies that have been prescribed to her.<o:p></o:p></div>
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In the NBCUniversal Values, Integrity is listed first. Under
the "Integrity" heading it reads, "Do the right thing and treat
people right".<o:p></o:p></div>
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Please treat autistic children right and amend our
healthcare plan to include meaningful autism benefits. I can arrange for a team
of experts in the field to meet with the proper representatives. Show me that
Comcast Cares. You gentlemen have the power to positively affect change for
what must be THOUSANDS of employees and their families by simply changing the
current policy.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Sincerely,<o:p></o:p></div>
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Lou Melgarejo<o:p></o:p></div>
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PS: I really do love my job and my coworkers. Please don't
fire me.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij30UXinVH2vks59qnLA4b0IB5hroeX0AiizO6olvu0LqyN8zj37KobQ0kD9PUATaMe6OhcsbsyH7K6GKbXFJQK1xjk-UpXt8NJ4PtjFtHeQwZjQUWUbIfrBgOnrPyA0CjMIr1Jvr4UfLG/s1600/IMG_20120725_124713.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij30UXinVH2vks59qnLA4b0IB5hroeX0AiizO6olvu0LqyN8zj37KobQ0kD9PUATaMe6OhcsbsyH7K6GKbXFJQK1xjk-UpXt8NJ4PtjFtHeQwZjQUWUbIfrBgOnrPyA0CjMIr1Jvr4UfLG/s400/IMG_20120725_124713.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The face of pure potential.</td></tr>
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Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17794074464910523454noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7002873379688473739.post-55309273556996574262013-03-28T13:23:00.002-05:002013-06-15T01:48:15.370-05:00What's Old is New Again<br />
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"Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm." - Winston Churchill</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">With Bianca at 13 months. Before she regressed.</td></tr>
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When Bianca was 12-13 months old (before her regression) she
was ahead of the curve on a lot of things. One of those things was labeling.<o:p></o:p></div>
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One of my favorite things to do with Bianca when she was a
baby was to grab one of her favorite picture books and flip the pages as she
pointed to and told me the names of ALL of the animals. It also became one of
the things that made me angriest about the regression… that it took that from
us. Bianca became more content chewing on a book than she was labeling once her
regression started to kick in.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I would grab her favorite book and sit down with her and
witness the gradual decay in her ability and/or interest in labeling. She lost
the words altogether eventually. Asking her to participate in an activity
became futile. She was much more content to be on her own and to become
engrossed in trying to find any microscopic crumb on the floor to mouth. It
would depress the hell out of me. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Still, you move on.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I accepted it eventually. I always remind myself to not fret
over the things that are out of my control and this whole regression business
was well beyond my ability to influence. But while there was acceptance, we
never stopped trying. We never gave up. We respected Bianca’s desire to be
solitary while lightly pushing activities and inclusion in play time with the
family. Her siblings are not so respectful. I think that is a good thing. They
constantly force the issue and MAKE Bianca play. Sometimes it resulted in Sofie
or Luis getting a well-placed head-butt. The venture on though, not letting the
incident deter them because they know that there are many other times that the
play results in deep belly laughs that they all get to share together. Those
moments are absolutely priceless.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I can see the
head-butt coming, so I manage to avoid them… usually. When I play with Binks I
try to keep it really light, while educating her at the same time. I request
that she uses her words now. I request that she uses sentences and phrases. It
takes some doing. It takes a lot of patience, but it pays HUGE dividends.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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After 6 years, I am now able to participate again in my
favorite activity with Bianca. I can look back at the time that the skill set
was not there, and it doesn’t even bother me anymore. Why? Because from the
first that we realized that she was autistic I KNEW that she smart. I KNEW that
she was brilliant. It isn’t a matter of intelligence; this is a matter of us
trying to find ways to communicate on HER level. This is about loving her the
way she is but hoping for the best. This is about time, repetition, patience
and love. This is about a team of therapists, teachers and paras CARING for my daughter and guiding her back to a place where she used to be.<o:p></o:p></div>
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For me, it is also a source of pride. I am so proud of
Bianca. I see her trying every day. She is an amazing kid with a whole world
ahead of her. Sure we still have bad days… we have code browns, head-butting
windows, eloping and mouthing issues, but when something good happens you have
to acknowledge it. So that is what I am doing… and I am sharing it with you
because I know through the countless emails, comments and tweets that you care
and will revel in the pride with me.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I also know that many of you may come to this blog at the
very beginning of your journey and while you are sitting there feeling
depressed and afraid I want you to know that things do get better with time. I
can’t promise you to what extent or in what manner, but they will.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Way to go Binks! Daddy is SO proud of you! Here is to the
future! <o:p></o:p></div>
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… Whatever it may hold.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br />
<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you have not already, please take time to watch my videos, </span><a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2011/08/fixing-autism.html" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Fixing" Autism</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and <a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2012/02/autism-awarenessskyscraper-by-demi.html" target="_blank">Autism Awareness with Nichole337</a> and share them with your friends.</span></i></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><br /></i></span></span></span><span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><br /></i></span></span></span><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To keep up to date with everying in Lou's Land, please subscribe to my blog. "Like" Lou's Land on </span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/lousland" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Facebook</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and follow Lou's Land on </span><span style="color: #6699cc; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.twitter.com/lousland" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;">Twitter</a></span></i></span></span></div>
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Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17794074464910523454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7002873379688473739.post-87957344537618819692013-03-27T18:55:00.000-05:002013-06-15T01:48:30.929-05:00Build-A-Bear? Build a Foundation.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5gsEEx15MjPC8IL5Xp-7uCOaB9RDwK4k51bYT85soLMH0eRygs8pWCUoiSFM_LK_68o3bYK9GJavrdoTD23QtGBOdyn_45l8guFJJ1xzAS5iv632wiedTxtzvaD6oGf3GPASVP0M-oIwu/s1600/2013-03-27+10.25.57.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5gsEEx15MjPC8IL5Xp-7uCOaB9RDwK4k51bYT85soLMH0eRygs8pWCUoiSFM_LK_68o3bYK9GJavrdoTD23QtGBOdyn_45l8guFJJ1xzAS5iv632wiedTxtzvaD6oGf3GPASVP0M-oIwu/s320/2013-03-27+10.25.57.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="text-align: center;"><br /></span>
<span style="text-align: center;">“If we are to teach
real peace in this world, and if we are to carry on a real war against war, we
shall have to begin with the children” – Mohandes Ghandi</span><br />
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It has to start somewhere right? Traditionally that has been
with the children.<o:p></o:p></div>
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When studies show that <a href="http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2012-09-03/lifestyle/sns-rt-us-teen-autismbre8820lg-20120903_1_autism-spectrum-disorder-asperger-autistic-children">nearly
half of all autistic teens reporting that they have been the victims of
bullying</a>, we have to get the message to kids sooner. Acceptance and
tolerance are vital to ending bullying. Those lessons MUST be taught and
reinforced at home as well as in the classroom. We must be teaching our kids
about the power of love and leading by example EVERY day. <o:p></o:p></div>
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In order to do that, there has to be a dialogue. There has
to be an open line of communication. Sometimes that can be a challenge. We don’t
always know how to talk to kids on their level and the fear of saying the wrong
thing can paralyze us into inaction. What we need is a little confidence and
some tools, something to break the ice and open up the give and take required
in an important conversation.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmxlkV6GlBkK67L8Y5Q-XVCPtHoyx8f8xp3-eREz66mIk_kAQZLWLauGFKZmX0ctvNh_4fGJXc7i8sux_8x16NxlXvwkovQB0srfBIwV8Q05ri0k19fq_eeMuufdJg3XYgRhgRbIJXaMWP/s1600/2013-03-27+10.25.37.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmxlkV6GlBkK67L8Y5Q-XVCPtHoyx8f8xp3-eREz66mIk_kAQZLWLauGFKZmX0ctvNh_4fGJXc7i8sux_8x16NxlXvwkovQB0srfBIwV8Q05ri0k19fq_eeMuufdJg3XYgRhgRbIJXaMWP/s320/2013-03-27+10.25.37.jpg" width="180" /></a>That is why I was so impressed and moved by the <a href="http://www.buildabear.com/shopping/productBrowse.jsp?categoryId=cat10760003&selectedParentCategoryId=cat110197&sc_hpan=banner_AutismSpeaks">Build-A-Bear
Workshop Autism Speaks Bear</a> and my experience going to purchase a few of
the bears today. First off, let me just
say that the place was PACKED. I went to a store that isn’t in a heavily
metropolitan area and the bears were FLYING out of the bin. In the store were friends
and families of autistic kids. There was a rather large group ahead of me and
each kid had a bright blue bear clutched closely. It really got me to thinking
about the importance of the partnership and the campaign. It seemed to me that
the families in the store were not just building a bear… they were building a
foundation of acceptance and love. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I know times are tough, but if you can afford it I would
like to encourage you to purchase a bear. Not for your autistic child necessarily
(though that is great too) but to give them to children and families that feel
could use the enlightenment. The “un-aware” as it were.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Because as I stood there and observed, I realized the
significance of these small, fuzzy, blue bears. Each bear purchased was a
potential life lesson; A path for a change in the dynamic that many of our school
aged kids deal with today. Each bear has the potential to impact its owner with
tolerance, understanding and acceptance. They could turn the stares and glares
to smiles and the behind the back whispers to “Hello”s. All it takes is a
conversation.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-MlNE1SW_9n1jFLmOeZeOK4XRMrMcy2JjROykvM2u002My1WO9Y7BJ49wVKhEAML50eIy0mnEu6RjgFT8_vy64awGJ5-3FJBvp_6hC0swZ93RHHVRzavCl6hMA2CZqyU3IUqQxxiNCuwA/s1600/2013-03-27+10.45.02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-MlNE1SW_9n1jFLmOeZeOK4XRMrMcy2JjROykvM2u002My1WO9Y7BJ49wVKhEAML50eIy0mnEu6RjgFT8_vy64awGJ5-3FJBvp_6hC0swZ93RHHVRzavCl6hMA2CZqyU3IUqQxxiNCuwA/s400/2013-03-27+10.45.02.jpg" width="225" /></a>Sometimes those vital conversations need a good kick start.
They need somebody to give a little push in the right direction. And if you don’t
feel like that talk is going to happen with the person or family in question, then
have it yourself with them. As you give the Autism Speaks Bear to your friends
and family, discuss bullying and autistic kids. Talk about healthcare
discrimination against young autistic kids that can’t get scientifically proven
and results oriented therapy covered by their insurance. Talk about the lack of
resources for autistic young adults trying to live full lives as independently
as they are able. Tell them that your kid wants friends. Tell them about all of
your kids strengths and discuss his or her challenges. Ask them to see about
volunteering in their special ed class at school as a helper. Ask them to be
certain to look out for those that are different than them… be it autism or
some other disorder, race, religion or socioeconomic standing.<o:p></o:p></div>
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By the way… the thoughts came to me while waiting for a
Build-A-Bear and observing the people in the store, but you don’t have to spend
a lot of money to get the same results. All you need is the desire and
opportunity to teach.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The things you think about while waiting in line.<o:p></o:p><br />
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If you would like to see more pics from today, please<a href="http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.461109667292450.1073741825.188145994588820&type=1&l=3663f0cfdc" target="_blank"> go to the gallery on Facebook.</a></div>
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<i>(Full Disclosure: I sit on the Board of Directors of Autism Speaks: Chicagoland Chapter. I was not asked to write this piece nor was I compensated in any way by Autism Speaks or Build-A-Bear. This is just the stuff that rattles in my head.)</i><br />
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<br />
<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you have not already, please take time to watch my videos, </span><a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2011/08/fixing-autism.html" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Fixing" Autism</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and <a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2012/02/autism-awarenessskyscraper-by-demi.html" target="_blank">Autism Awareness with Nichole337</a> and share them with your friends.</span></i></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><br /></i></span></span></span><span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><br /></i></span></span></span><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To keep up to date with everying in Lou's Land, please subscribe to my blog. "Like" Lou's Land on </span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/lousland" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Facebook</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and follow Lou's Land on </span><span style="color: #6699cc; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.twitter.com/lousland" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;">Twitter</a></span></i></span></span></div>
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Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17794074464910523454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7002873379688473739.post-5698761320959633922013-03-25T00:43:00.003-05:002013-06-15T01:48:52.113-05:00Spring Breakdown<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Monday starts Spring Break for the kids. I can’t really
relate because I never felt this way in my life about school… but both of my
school aged children are bummed about it. So are the wife and I.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Sofie just LOVES school. A few weeks back she was
complaining that her tummy hurt. She was all bundled up and ready to go catch
the bus when she stopped dead in her tracks and held her stomach. “Can you kiss
my tummy daddy? It doesn’t feel so good.” I leaned over gave her a kiss on the
stomach and not two seconds later she vomited all over the place. When we had
to call her off of school she cried and cried. “I don’t want to miss school! I
will miss out on all the fun!” she bawled as gigantic tears streaked down her
face. She is in kindergarten though, so I will revisit this feeling she has towards
school in a few years.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Bianca on the other hand… she gets bummed in a different
way. Her sleep pattern gets disturbed, she becomes irritable and starts to act
out. Head banging increases, meltdowns increase and then it takes several weeks
to get settled back into her routine once school is back in session. So one
week off, sets her back about a month.</div>
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When I was in school, it seemed like I counted the days
until spring break. In high school and college I always fantasized about taking
a trip to someplace tropical and getting crazy, wet t-shirt contests, meeting
girls and all of the rest of the debauchery associated with the event… reality
was the closest I got was watching MTV. It just wasn’t my style, but being out
of school was DEFINITELY my style.<o:p></o:p></div>
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As a parent though, I LOVE school. As far as I am concerned,
there can’t be enough school… especially for Bianca. Don’t get me wrong. If I
could, I would spend all day with her. I love being with her and we have a lot
of fun together. I just know that I am not what makes things easier on her. Her
routine does. So it doesn’t matter how much I try to explain it to her or
smother her with hugs and kisses, she likes her structure and when it is gone,
life is harder for her.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We will be bouncing a lot on the trampoline I think to help
with the anxiety. The weather is still too cold to hit the park. Maybe we will
make a trip to the bouncy houses or coloring eggs. We will have to see.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Wishing all you autism parents out there a meltdown free
spring break! Where are the Jell-O shots?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br />
<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you have not already, please take time to watch my videos, </span><a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2011/08/fixing-autism.html" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Fixing" Autism</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and <a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2012/02/autism-awarenessskyscraper-by-demi.html" target="_blank">Autism Awareness with Nichole337</a> and share them with your friends.</span></i></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><br /></i></span></span></span><span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><br /></i></span></span></span><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To keep up to date with everying in Lou's Land, please subscribe to my blog. "Like" Lou's Land on </span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/lousland" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Facebook</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and follow Lou's Land on </span><span style="color: #6699cc; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.twitter.com/lousland" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;">Twitter</a></span></i></span></span></div>
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Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17794074464910523454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7002873379688473739.post-27007288104178648572013-03-23T23:36:00.000-05:002013-06-15T01:52:50.303-05:00Lighting It Up Blue<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJYUcGzqFOugd1sa3j9sf9jms-vHfqSS12prac_bp5Gc1LhPhi5pkB5hW3C3WzBXhP0ajjvx938pXWG-8fw26Ce-dSamuAbfw78CszBMAz6VLgCR2tkKaaGU7GSDjLthyChVv0KWgWwoCa/s1600/454px-World-autism-awareness-day.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJYUcGzqFOugd1sa3j9sf9jms-vHfqSS12prac_bp5Gc1LhPhi5pkB5hW3C3WzBXhP0ajjvx938pXWG-8fw26Ce-dSamuAbfw78CszBMAz6VLgCR2tkKaaGU7GSDjLthyChVv0KWgWwoCa/s320/454px-World-autism-awareness-day.jpg" width="242" /></a></div>
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April is Autism Awareness Month and April 2<sup>nd</sup> is
World Autism Awareness Day as declared by the <a href="https://www.un.org/en/events/autismday/">UN General Assembly</a>. It is
also the day that <a href="http://www.autismspeaks.org/">Autism Speaks</a> asks
for residences, businesses and buildings to change their exterior light bulbs from
white to blue in an effort to kick off Autism Awareness Month and raise
awareness via a promotion called <a href="http://www.lightitupblue.org/">Light
It Up Blue</a>.</div>
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Before we are even there I have already read my fair share
of posts and comments criticizing the event. I have seen attacks on everything
from the event actually doing nothing to help autistic people, to wondering
just who it was that chose blue to represent the autism community in the first
place.<o:p></o:p></div>
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If you are relatively new to the autism community… get used
to it. It seems that no organization or individual can do much of anything
without somebody thinking they are going about it all wrong. Stay positive
though. Just go with what you feel like is the best way to honor your autistic
loved one or if you are autistic, whatever makes you feel proud. For my family,
we enjoy participating in Light It Up Blue.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxPLoZgPpzgdnfG52zDyIizH3iTOowuIyvUOfz-WWiT_WU64Q29RUHj3RVbFkpIdv2wEtL1hyphenhyphenoyvrHrkqG7qGFdv-qpA4Zad-wXUeKSiz3GmBWGGl8aQnSmh-WZC_qgrlA5QWnwsJPuHt9/s1600/liub+before+after.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="259" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxPLoZgPpzgdnfG52zDyIizH3iTOowuIyvUOfz-WWiT_WU64Q29RUHj3RVbFkpIdv2wEtL1hyphenhyphenoyvrHrkqG7qGFdv-qpA4Zad-wXUeKSiz3GmBWGGl8aQnSmh-WZC_qgrlA5QWnwsJPuHt9/s320/liub+before+after.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yeah... we wiped 'em out.</td></tr>
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Last year was the first year that we participated. We heard
that <a href="http://www.homedepot.com/p/Autism-Speaks-Blue-25-Watt-A19-Incandescent-Light-Bulb-A19-120v-25w-E26-24/203178912#.UU5xgRwe2So">Autism
Speaks and Home Depot</a> had a partnership going and that Home Depot would
sell the bulbs with a percentage of the proceeds going towards Autism Speaks.
So we bought out the display and put together autism awareness goodie bags for
our neighbors that included a blue light bulb and information on autism, the
diagnosis rate and some of the challenges our daughter faces. Our emphasis
however was on how our daughter may be slightly different, she was loved and
should not be viewed negatively because she was autistic. Putting together
the bags allowed Sofie and I some time to talk. She proved yet again to be wise
beyond her years. At 5 years old she knew that people being different was OK
and not scary. She knew that her sister loved her and she loved her sister, and
that as a family we could conquer anything.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We wore our Walk Now team t-shirts and loaded up the wagon
then off we went handing out the bags and talking to neighbors. Some of our
neighbors knew of Bianca’s diagnosis others did not. We talked about it openly
and honestly and we voiced our pride in our daughter for how far she had come
and how BRILLIANT she is. The neighbors that weren't home, we left the bag in
their door. I saw several of them later in the week and they were so warm and
receptive not just to Bianca but to our family as a whole.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUUw7Z39rXgiKTX5DhjjoQLsalZfgtt9lvPOHKNSJ-BxF5al6jhTqJrmD_URarG6xhCznvqmnXYKkinloiop9ELlaeupU5HVEseJa51ht991b5bcPqm6GKxYR4VQkeprcb9_78ioMu5NhD/s1600/liub+wagon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUUw7Z39rXgiKTX5DhjjoQLsalZfgtt9lvPOHKNSJ-BxF5al6jhTqJrmD_URarG6xhCznvqmnXYKkinloiop9ELlaeupU5HVEseJa51ht991b5bcPqm6GKxYR4VQkeprcb9_78ioMu5NhD/s320/liub+wagon.jpg" width="311" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The family making the rounds. (Not my car folks)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
When April 2<sup>nd</sup> came around, I was incredibly
humbled as family and friends across the globe tagged me in pictures of them
wearing blue and having blue lights on and declaring that it was for Bianca.
When I drove home late from work that night and turned the corner to head
towards our house I stopped the car in the middle of the road. Of all the houses
in both cul-de-sacs, only one did not change their bulb out. To their credit
though, it was not on, so I am not sure if it was defective or they just didn't care to participate. Either way, as I sat there in my car in the middle of the
street at 1:00 AM, my heart became full. There must have been a cat around
because my eyes started to get runny. I felt like my neighbors had our backs. I
felt supported. I felt like my daughter had gained friends and her condition
understanding.<o:p></o:p></div>
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An even bigger surprise was that the cul-de-sac behind our
house was ALSO lit up blue as was the one across the street from that. After a
little investigating, we discovered that there was an autistic young man that
lived a block away and his family had ALSO decided to hand out blue bulbs to
the neighbors.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So when I get asked how Light It Up Blue raises awareness,
or how a blue light bulb is supposed to help, I usually tell people about my
experience last year. It opened up a conversation with my neighbors, it delivered
compassion and not pity, it educated people, it got people to donate to a
charity, it got neighbors talking and got our family talking. The more people
that are aware of the situation at hand, the easier it will become to fight against
discrimination, hate and bullying. The more people that know about the uphill
battle families face for basic services and assistance, the greater our chances
of getting help to little ones when that help is most vital, the more people
are aware that autistic people are not only worthy of but DESERVING of our
love, that they are not to be feared or shunned, that they are pure potential…
the better for my daughter.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Have a little perspective folks. This is about raising a
little awareness. Observe the day, don’t observe the day. Light It Up Blue, light
it up some other color, don’t light it up at all. Do whatever works for you and
try not to tear other people down. I just hope that you do SOMETHING to shine a
light on autism that day.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br />
<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you have not already, please take time to watch my videos, </span><a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2011/08/fixing-autism.html" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Fixing" Autism</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and <a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2012/02/autism-awarenessskyscraper-by-demi.html" target="_blank">Autism Awareness with Nichole337</a> and share them with your friends.</span></i></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><br /></i></span></span></span><span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><br /></i></span></span></span><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To keep up to date with everying in Lou's Land, please subscribe to my blog. "Like" Lou's Land on </span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/lousland" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Facebook</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and follow Lou's Land on </span><span style="color: #6699cc; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.twitter.com/lousland" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;">Twitter</a></span></i></span></span></div>
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Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17794074464910523454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7002873379688473739.post-14395597639008758242013-02-17T14:25:00.001-06:002013-06-15T01:53:03.891-05:00Bear, Duck, Frog<br />
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As anybody that follows regularly knows, <a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2012/12/potty-mouth-2012-blogging-advent.html" target="_blank">the potty is Bianca's muse</a>.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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Yet again while sitting on the potty, she surprised me.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/uUPNPVs64P4?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe>She has a host of stuffed animals that I refer to as
"the guys" but she has lately been referring to as "my
babies". On a trip to the ER a while back for an infected finger, she brought them along for support and we passed the time labeling them.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Sitting on the potty today she started to name three that we
left behind in the living room so that she could sit on the potty.<o:p></o:p></div>
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"Bear" said Bianca, “Duck. Frog.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Yes.” I replied, “The guys are downstairs. You can play
with them once we are done on the potty.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Bear” Bianca repeated with a smile. She then grabbed my
hands and forced them to cross. “Bear”<o:p></o:p></div>
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Huh?<o:p></o:p></div>
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“You want a bear hug Binks?” I asked.<br />
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She repeated “bear” and again crossed my hands but this time, pushed them up
against my chest. I held them there as she repeated “bear” again. Only now she
crossed her arms over her chest and as she said “bear” she opened and closed
her hands.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Hmm. Could she be… teaching me? I don’t know the sign for “bear”. I never really thought to learn it. I know
she loves “Signing Times” and watches it at school. I know they sign in her
speech therapy. But why would “bear”
come up? Self-preservation maybe? As in, “BEAR!!!!!!”. But we live in the burbs
of Chicago. No bears here except for the ones that play by the lake.<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Frog” Bianca said. She was now holding her hand under her
chin and flicking a couple of fingers.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I watched in pure amazement until yet again she grabbed my
hand and forced it under my chin.<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Frog!” She exclaimed as she once again put her hand up
under her chin and flicked her fingers. I mimicked her, and she squealed with
delight. “FROG!” she said again with a smile.<o:p></o:p></div>
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“FROG!!” I repeated with my hand under my chin and flicking
my two fingers.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Happy as could be, Bianca put her hand in front of her face
and as she faced her palm towards me and started to open and shut her hand like
she was performing a sock puppet without a sock (<a href="http://youtu.be/hj2Kt7ptEDw" target="_blank">which we already know are way cooler when you wear them on your hands anyway</a>) and proudly pronounced, “DUCK!!”<br />
<br />
OK… definitely sign language. That looked like a duck quacking or something… “DUCK!”
I echoed back to Bianca, and once again Bianca smiled from ear to ear.<o:p></o:p></div>
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This went on for a while. No potty, but lots of talking and
signing. Afterwards, we went downstairs where Bianca picked up the three babies
she left behind… bear… duck… and frog. I went right to <a href="http://youtu.be/lRmN8EjqbNE" target="_blank">YouTube and searched for“ASL bear”</a>. I clicked the link and watched the video full of a combination of
amazement, pride and hope. She was indeed signing the name of her babies. I checked <a href="http://youtu.be/yv-SHw793s4" target="_blank">"frog"</a> and <a href="http://youtu.be/GFSf6YRJSw4" target="_blank">"duck"</a> just to be sure... and yup. They were just as she was signing them.<o:p></o:p><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmE5oTCoTZMyuOW45b1JiLwgx6zzvkzRLJwJe6MIXN_CdaL8U_uB83sT9ugd9BNZZxyDFs44qatb8TeCjIDy7EAAYFDtQQTmhcZ5TXE4P6hs6JvIYRIlo8DEHSpR1JYxledz4VkWBZD8cU/s1600/the+guys.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="332" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmE5oTCoTZMyuOW45b1JiLwgx6zzvkzRLJwJe6MIXN_CdaL8U_uB83sT9ugd9BNZZxyDFs44qatb8TeCjIDy7EAAYFDtQQTmhcZ5TXE4P6hs6JvIYRIlo8DEHSpR1JYxledz4VkWBZD8cU/s400/the+guys.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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I always talk about how having an autistic child teaches you
so much. I am usually referring to philosophies or grand scale things… I never
really thought about teaching me SPECIFIC things… on purpose.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I guess some day I will learn that the only certainty in
raising an autistic child is that they will never cease to amaze you. Sometimes
you have to look hard for the silver lining, other times it is all you see. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_ukeNSslkRz9wlw8jmmLBKBTtseY4m6Ut46KhG8APLYqGZ2joMTgkGM5zSthZ8znq7d6A0PdXR38INFLW-n23hd4r2DOhUndzSvU2GfjdI8zx6ujLbCXTlM77aVHJIj1YkkUk5YAc0WN1/s1600/divider.gif" imageanchor="1" style="color: #6c91ce; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" height="70" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_ukeNSslkRz9wlw8jmmLBKBTtseY4m6Ut46KhG8APLYqGZ2joMTgkGM5zSthZ8znq7d6A0PdXR38INFLW-n23hd4r2DOhUndzSvU2GfjdI8zx6ujLbCXTlM77aVHJIj1YkkUk5YAc0WN1/s200/divider.gif" style="border: none; position: relative;" width="200" /></a></div>
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<br />
<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you have not already, please take time to watch my videos, </span><a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2011/08/fixing-autism.html" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Fixing" Autism</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and <a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2012/02/autism-awarenessskyscraper-by-demi.html" target="_blank">Autism Awareness with Nichole337</a> and share them with your friends.</span></i></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"></span><br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><br /></i></span></span></span><span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><br /></i></span></span></span><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To keep up to date with everying in Lou's Land, please subscribe to my blog. "Like" Lou's Land on </span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/lousland" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Facebook</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and follow Lou's Land on </span><span style="color: #6699cc; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.twitter.com/lousland" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;">Twitter</a></span></i></span></span></div>
</div>
Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17794074464910523454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7002873379688473739.post-39653036349790727412013-01-11T18:02:00.000-06:002013-06-15T01:53:29.427-05:00New Crocs<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJXPZ98G3J9rEQkWkkp1LBvagfVD0tW7Sts65Quss0wu2skp04rQ1JLl4lQ8K4pvoA99MCenUbOJNp7a5qqJbmbNpw0NKd7uZiVH-PYyVuOZzrFLog2SQKD8lYdGsErV_31rFKMu00T0Z4/s1600/new+old+crocs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJXPZ98G3J9rEQkWkkp1LBvagfVD0tW7Sts65Quss0wu2skp04rQ1JLl4lQ8K4pvoA99MCenUbOJNp7a5qqJbmbNpw0NKd7uZiVH-PYyVuOZzrFLog2SQKD8lYdGsErV_31rFKMu00T0Z4/s320/new+old+crocs.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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You know that old saying about walking a mile in someone's
shoes? Well I am not sure how many miles Bianca walked in her Crocs. She wears
them everywhere. No matter the time of year. She sleeps in them. Sometimes she
bathes in them... it gets them pretty clean!<o:p></o:p></div>
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What I do know is that these Crocs represent an unbelievable
10 months of progress. Forget the miles walked. How about how they helped her
to walk? All that money spent on orthotics and a $25 pair of Crocs do the
trick? How about all the words gained? How about the skills learned? How about
real, honest to goodness communication?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Sure you may not be able to judge a person until you walk a
mile in their shoes… but if you were there to witness them do the walking; you
sure can appreciate the journey.<o:p></o:p></div>
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It made me think of the last panel of the best comic strip
of all time… Calvin and Hobbes. I hope that Bill Watterson doesn't mind me sharing
this because I certainly have no rights nor do I have his permission but it is
just SO perfect…<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDIr-qPsXxqKkHoc8Vcs_i8_t7ta3O-rN_vu5VeaARczxvPUb0U4cKMo4hO-V7iHFip9vPPnocWw5yuEmHM9iwX4MHvxNp0gKxxeW8gNvhOdzdIUkLhnU7b6toOIrIBPPtMWBeCChQ4khV/s1600/Scan0003.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="464" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDIr-qPsXxqKkHoc8Vcs_i8_t7ta3O-rN_vu5VeaARczxvPUb0U4cKMo4hO-V7iHFip9vPPnocWw5yuEmHM9iwX4MHvxNp0gKxxeW8gNvhOdzdIUkLhnU7b6toOIrIBPPtMWBeCChQ4khV/s640/Scan0003.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Here is to another mile Bianca… let’s go exploring!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_ukeNSslkRz9wlw8jmmLBKBTtseY4m6Ut46KhG8APLYqGZ2joMTgkGM5zSthZ8znq7d6A0PdXR38INFLW-n23hd4r2DOhUndzSvU2GfjdI8zx6ujLbCXTlM77aVHJIj1YkkUk5YAc0WN1/s1600/divider.gif" imageanchor="1" style="color: #6c91ce; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" height="70" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_ukeNSslkRz9wlw8jmmLBKBTtseY4m6Ut46KhG8APLYqGZ2joMTgkGM5zSthZ8znq7d6A0PdXR38INFLW-n23hd4r2DOhUndzSvU2GfjdI8zx6ujLbCXTlM77aVHJIj1YkkUk5YAc0WN1/s200/divider.gif" style="border: none; position: relative;" width="200" /></a></div>
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<br />
<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you have not already, please take time to watch my videos, </span><a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2011/08/fixing-autism.html" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Fixing" Autism</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and <a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2012/02/autism-awarenessskyscraper-by-demi.html" target="_blank">Autism Awareness with Nichole337</a> and share them with your friends.</span></i></span></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #333333;"></span><br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><br /></i></span></span></span><span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><br /></i></span></span></span><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To keep up to date with everying in Lou's Land, please subscribe to my blog. "Like" Lou's Land on </span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/lousland" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Facebook</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and follow Lou's Land on </span><span style="color: #6699cc; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.twitter.com/lousland" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;">Twitter</a></span></i></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17794074464910523454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7002873379688473739.post-44998197828763953362013-01-04T23:53:00.003-06:002013-06-15T01:53:44.076-05:00A Sign of Strength?<br />
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Let me preface this post by saying that I am not a “We can
only write about good things when it comes to handling life with autism or an
autistic loved one.” I am also not in the business of attacking parents or questioning their love for their children, parenting, etc. I think we are all far to quick to judge and call people names when we do not know their reality. As long as people are responsible and careful about what
they write, I believe we can tackle any number of issues that arise and that
others searching for answers may find comfort in knowing that they are not
alone.<o:p></o:p></div>
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It was exactly that desire to draw comfort that drew me <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/04/booming/autism-strains-yet-strengthens-a-marriage.html?pagewanted=all">to
a recent article on The New York Times website.</a><o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicU2AdHQxMZjM6QCnwWgY6LfXZuteqk7_JYejdjdYtEShrdONYYYOLzprIJ49T3prlp3kBnVwfYV1UGWF5hLc25S6ztQfvzzTLUZltJ2aLE9Aaq6jOxgWjeJd3nd2WusKiWNFxZ72Rq6zd/s1600/NY+Times+Article.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="388" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicU2AdHQxMZjM6QCnwWgY6LfXZuteqk7_JYejdjdYtEShrdONYYYOLzprIJ49T3prlp3kBnVwfYV1UGWF5hLc25S6ztQfvzzTLUZltJ2aLE9Aaq6jOxgWjeJd3nd2WusKiWNFxZ72Rq6zd/s400/NY+Times+Article.jpg" width="400" /></a> </div>
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Now there is something I could use to read about. This
couple has lasted 25 years, and they have an autistic son. I would love to know
how they did it. I would love to be given some profound words of advice and a
key or two at what I can do to make certain that my marriage doesn’t fizzle. My
marriage isn’t perfect (whose is) and I am always looking for ways to be a
better husband, partner and friend to my wife.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Unfortunately this article’s headline is very misleading.
The article goes on to talk about many of the ways that autism stressed this
couple out, but I don’t believe it shows even one example of how it
strengthened their marriage. I see a lot of examples of how they rely on each
other… but how has AUTISM helped to strengthen their marriage?<o:p></o:p></div>
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It really reads more to me like their marriage has survived
DESPITE their child having autism.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The author notes that this article is a condensed version of
a longer conversation, so I am wondering if this is just poor editing. I
encourage you to read the entire article so that you get the tone of the
article, but let me supply you with a few examples of what I find concerning…<br />
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The interviewer asks about the stress of the diagnosis and
how this couple dealt with it. So again… going off of the TITLE of the article,
I am looking for an example of strength. Instead we get that it is currently a
nightmare, but thank goodness they have one another. Autism is not
strengthening the marriage… their devotion to one another is.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWwY3o73LtTVVbUJoB41SNIl4fsabbVWYMHWXYG7qa0pASg4zGT96eMxDbe_woPLPsoPiy8y7F4I4qOyvcTIeVIhicEuonXogpyxkpFezEojWI5f_UXfbXNp9Ly6ZxmQu6tS9_69pZRqCa/s1600/NYT+Quote+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="132" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWwY3o73LtTVVbUJoB41SNIl4fsabbVWYMHWXYG7qa0pASg4zGT96eMxDbe_woPLPsoPiy8y7F4I4qOyvcTIeVIhicEuonXogpyxkpFezEojWI5f_UXfbXNp9Ly6ZxmQu6tS9_69pZRqCa/s640/NYT+Quote+2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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PART of the reason the dad contemplated divorce was his
autistic son. What was the other part? The stress his wife was under because…
of his autistic son. In other words, it was ALL his autistic son. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoaUUirPJOM-lZa3RTA8ovh38vdYtOoEwrQE96pNEj1lw0sUqf131lRr7twB4R2B7QF1jdkp_pVWBRcfaGW16mPjw8jHsGJal3ne4FFMjYbAFAE3NlJqI42YbvnZbQzchBj6tTfZ2hDW1n/s1600/NYT+Quote+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="234" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoaUUirPJOM-lZa3RTA8ovh38vdYtOoEwrQE96pNEj1lw0sUqf131lRr7twB4R2B7QF1jdkp_pVWBRcfaGW16mPjw8jHsGJal3ne4FFMjYbAFAE3NlJqI42YbvnZbQzchBj6tTfZ2hDW1n/s640/NYT+Quote+3.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Finally, we get some advice. But not about how autism has
helped strengthen the marriage. The advice here is to try not to think about
all the fun you are missing out on… because of your autistic child. Nancy is
correct about maintaining balance. I do think that is important to
keep in mind. However, we still have yet to see how autism itself has helped to
strengthen their marriage.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUw-9D88wfWF2DAE7Bu9pO4DFuosa4i3Gxf1rTUfAsfr8vUQayFSo9kg_AdPMETJlnmCyz8SM51llDAlY_9Ej-Nhph5K_LHFlxa71n7INCsMcMPLR4PZNeDsNfCiIXujTbeWYb_P5U3G16/s1600/NYT+Quote+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUw-9D88wfWF2DAE7Bu9pO4DFuosa4i3Gxf1rTUfAsfr8vUQayFSo9kg_AdPMETJlnmCyz8SM51llDAlY_9Ej-Nhph5K_LHFlxa71n7INCsMcMPLR4PZNeDsNfCiIXujTbeWYb_P5U3G16/s640/NYT+Quote+4.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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We struggled with the decision to have our son, and quite
frankly the decision was made for us. Oops! Sofie was born only a year and 22 days
after Bianca and before she started to regress.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I have written about <a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2011/12/family-matters.html">deciding to
have other children when you have one on the spectrum</a>. The paranoia about
whether your child is or isn't autistic can rob you of enjoying your child’s
development. You become hyper-focused on anything that could be a "red flag" that you focus on <a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2011/06/not-those-moments-these-moments.html" target="_blank">those moments</a> and what they could mean as opposed to focusing on the present. Not because you would love your child any less if they were, but
because you love your child so much that you don’t want things to be any more
challenging for them than need be.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I think it is dangerous to even remotely suggest that a
person is “stupid” for wanting to have more children when they already have one
autistic child. That rubbed me the wrong way… and still no real signs of how
autism has strengthened the marriage.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Here the reporter is trying to pull the information out of
the parents… how has your child brought joy into your life? I am hoping this is
an edit. There are a million things I could think of long before my child being
the life of the party as to how my daughter brings me joy. I am just glad that
Jay goes on to say that he is happy and proud that William is his son. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I have no doubt that these parents adore their son and that they are fine parents and good people. This article did them no justice. I want
to emphasize that I am not really upset with the parents but rather the article
itself. Maybe it is a bad headline editor, maybe it is poorly written or
perhaps the reporter being the subject’s sibling places him to close to the
source to write as clearly as he would if he didn't have a lifetime of
understanding the subject. Maybe I am just sensitive about the sensitive about the subject because I do fear for my marriage at times.<o:p></o:p></div>
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While we all enjoy advice on making marriage work, there is
one thing that I would like to point out. It is not up to our children to
provide parents with a happy marriage, autism or not. A happy marriage comes
from the parents and how WE play the hand that we are given. A happy marriage
is a gift that we give our children, not the other way around. It is an example
by which they will most likely base their future relationships upon.<o:p></o:p></div>
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If you were to ask me how autism has strengthened my
marriage, I would tell you that it has taught me about unconditional love, persistence,
insistence and communication and somehow this article comes up short on many of
these points. And if heaven forbid my marriage ever does fail, I know I will never blame autism... I will blame my wife and I for not knowing how to properly handle the situation at hand.<o:p></o:p><br />
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<br />
<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you have not already, please take time to watch my videos, </span><a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2011/08/fixing-autism.html" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Fixing" Autism</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and <a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2012/02/autism-awarenessskyscraper-by-demi.html" target="_blank">Autism Awareness with Nichole337</a> and share them with your friends.</span></i></span></span></span></div>
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Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17794074464910523454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7002873379688473739.post-12201654891247389602012-12-25T02:50:00.002-06:002013-06-15T02:07:27.147-05:00Twas the night.. Blogging Advent Calendar Day 24<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoV7F3JXE4boJC6z2dBzavUV1SkEAoyPFB0RB81Tlh2Sp_w8SUt8AFWdWE06fHyQorNb1FtJ3VIWwISodCXCZO_I1dJhgVDg-bamsdJQ9CABqlkej-E7hSdMEx69OQTgNEUSF-NBJcUvm3/s1600/day+24.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoV7F3JXE4boJC6z2dBzavUV1SkEAoyPFB0RB81Tlh2Sp_w8SUt8AFWdWE06fHyQorNb1FtJ3VIWwISodCXCZO_I1dJhgVDg-bamsdJQ9CABqlkej-E7hSdMEx69OQTgNEUSF-NBJcUvm3/s1600/day+24.jpg" /></a></div>
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Christmas Eve… the big day for us.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We put the tree up and decorate on Christmas Eve, then spend
the evening with our family at one of my brother-in-laws house. The kids
usually fall asleep in the car on the way back home, so after we carry them off
to bed “Santa” finishes any last minute gift wrapping and takes all of the
presents out of hiding and places them under the tree.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPe6aJpb6rtKa_OSm23dUo5fbMu18Esy9FGEgrgoz5BDOTFKmkIRSADjXPVw9eQPUIyWo5L4vPJjH3H0rQKPlaiv6RVsdu6rw6lxY5siql62gYaJd3eNF4JhbCxAHhA6wMIxn-sgRheRRu/s1600/lou+santa.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPe6aJpb6rtKa_OSm23dUo5fbMu18Esy9FGEgrgoz5BDOTFKmkIRSADjXPVw9eQPUIyWo5L4vPJjH3H0rQKPlaiv6RVsdu6rw6lxY5siql62gYaJd3eNF4JhbCxAHhA6wMIxn-sgRheRRu/s320/lou+santa.jpg" width="320" /></a>The highlight for me is usually playing Santa at the family
gathering. I started doing it the Christmas after Bianca was born. She is a
November baby, so when her first Christmas came around she was only like 6
weeks old and so was her little cousin. Playing Santa allowed for both of them
to get a picture with the jolly elf for their first Christmas. They family has
expanded at an incredible rate and 7 years later, there are now 13 kids ages 7
and under so Santa is now a big hit. The adults in the family like it as well
because Santa works a little “blue”.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Bianca is a challenge at these family events because she is
running all over with one of us right behind. We are in constant fear that she
is going to go outside without us noticing. Unlike at home where we have the
place on lockdown, my in-law’s house is your typical home with lots of possible
points of escape. Plus if you take into account the number of people going in
and out, at any moment Bianca could walk out of the house. So my mom, my wife
and I trade off chasing after her to lighten the load.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnywbI1nrnLghdUUYJNopoaBz0JTe3BOcpxDR2nkij4UrXjpbf0Cd5RsfXpeouITFP-kyxLQlEK84pAsCMJ8FoAKRK5R4Qxf-Vk_swdHb5yUaxm2wS7I4g_JDq_PmNAxpblRSHpEFIMyIg/s1600/kids+around+tree.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnywbI1nrnLghdUUYJNopoaBz0JTe3BOcpxDR2nkij4UrXjpbf0Cd5RsfXpeouITFP-kyxLQlEK84pAsCMJ8FoAKRK5R4Qxf-Vk_swdHb5yUaxm2wS7I4g_JDq_PmNAxpblRSHpEFIMyIg/s400/kids+around+tree.jpg" width="225" /></a>This year it was all about cookies. She wanted to hit the
cookie tray every few minutes. She eats so well that I always feel bad having
to limit her on something like cookies when she gets in one of these moods.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I have to admit though, Bianca is a lucky girl. Her extended
family really loves her. Even if they don’t quite understand the exact dynamic
and how she ticks, they love her and I know that she feels it.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I am thankful for them and the way they look out for her. I
am thankful for another year of incredible achievements. 2012 has been really
good to us. I am just wishing for an even better 2013. I hope that doesn't make
me greedy. I just know that Bianca has so much potential. I can’t wait to see
what advances she makes!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Time to watch A Christmas Story and devour the cookies and
milk that Sofie left for Santa.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Merry Christmas to you. I wish you all a holiday filled with
love, acceptance, peace and tranquility.... and most of all, lots and lots of milestones.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you have not already, please take time to watch my videos, </span><a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2011/08/fixing-autism.html" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Fixing" Autism</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and <a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2012/02/autism-awarenessskyscraper-by-demi.html" target="_blank">Autism Awareness with Nichole337</a> and share them with your friends.</span></i></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><br /></i></span></span></span><span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><br /></i></span></span></span><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To keep up to date with everying in Lou's Land, please subscribe to my blog. "Like" Lou's Land on </span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/lousland" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Facebook</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and follow Lou's Land on </span><span style="color: #6699cc; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.twitter.com/lousland" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;">Twitter</a></span></i></span></span></div>
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Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17794074464910523454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7002873379688473739.post-86693513010646957862012-12-24T15:47:00.001-06:002013-06-15T02:07:59.230-05:00Autism Shining - Blogging Advent Calendar 2012<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlx6QFVX_VcM4WfStOUF9S6EFzpY4IZnD0mTqWPr_6EpNdtCkAC-EC17qRiiVncpo8-Z2iJastfAejKX6Nc8frGizTaSTgj9MG0LnJeNrhAn6-UrXTBaX9ix7I1n992namlienOZv_UHTB/s1600/day+23.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlx6QFVX_VcM4WfStOUF9S6EFzpY4IZnD0mTqWPr_6EpNdtCkAC-EC17qRiiVncpo8-Z2iJastfAejKX6Nc8frGizTaSTgj9MG0LnJeNrhAn6-UrXTBaX9ix7I1n992namlienOZv_UHTB/s1600/day+23.jpg" /></a></div>
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Do you want to feel good? I mean REALLY good? Need a
pick-me-up? Want to have your insides get so warm and fuzzy inside that you
feel like you could just burst?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Then you really need to check out <a href="http://www.facebook.com/AutismShines">the Autism Shines Facebook Page</a>
… I mean really. Like now.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Started to “show the world all the positive attributes of
autism” the Facebook page encourages you to upload a picture of yourself or
somebody you love with autism and share the wonderful things you know about
them… and people have responded.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The joy it gives me to scroll through smiling face after
smiling face is immeasurable and just what the doctor ordered.<o:p></o:p></div>
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If you feel so inclined, please share a photo and
participate. Think of how wonderful it would be for a parent of a newly
diagnosed child to stumble upon that page as they searched for answers.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Here is my contribution… <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you have not already, please take time to watch my videos, </span><a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2011/08/fixing-autism.html" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Fixing" Autism</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and <a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2012/02/autism-awarenessskyscraper-by-demi.html" target="_blank">Autism Awareness with Nichole337</a> and share them with your friends.</span></i></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><br /></i></span></span></span><span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><br /></i></span></span></span><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To keep up to date with everying in Lou's Land, please subscribe to my blog. "Like" Lou's Land on </span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/lousland" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Facebook</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and follow Lou's Land on </span><span style="color: #6699cc; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.twitter.com/lousland" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;">Twitter</a></span></i></span></span></div>
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Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17794074464910523454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7002873379688473739.post-48136504529297267042012-12-24T15:41:00.000-06:002013-06-15T02:08:53.459-05:00Fat Guys Aren't Always Jolly - Blogging Advent Calendar 2012<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP7msvqdp6Odx8X4dof5i4yY3_AtxsXltYjVEXYD14hNuEdpT0XH4ShRXBWcsZc0YbRoL4epNaxyMHt1v_qNSyuvz38UzqB5Mn10ydhO0w_rgQFfgFeO4onTALf6O_LMSwVB9Yv4aL5pPa/s1600/day+22.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP7msvqdp6Odx8X4dof5i4yY3_AtxsXltYjVEXYD14hNuEdpT0XH4ShRXBWcsZc0YbRoL4epNaxyMHt1v_qNSyuvz38UzqB5Mn10ydhO0w_rgQFfgFeO4onTALf6O_LMSwVB9Yv4aL5pPa/s1600/day+22.jpg" /></a></div>
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I gotta do something.</div>
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With 2013 rapidly approaching, people all over are making
New Year’s Resolutions that they are going to break. The most common one is
probably “to lose weight”. I rarely make resolutions, but I think this year I
will. I think I am going to resolve to get back in game shape.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I have struggled with weight most of my adult life. Usually
the more stressed or depressed I get, the heavier I get. Every once in a while
I snap out of the funk and start eating healthy and working out and so far when
I would do that… I would shed weight like crazy. My issue is that I am an
abuser of comfort food and I am incredibly sedentary. Sure I chase after three
kids, but outside of that… I am not moving too much.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I sit in the living room watching kids, I drive to work and
then I sit at work. If sitting was an Olympic sport, then I would be a gold
medal winner.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So my weight is out of control and this is puzzling to me
because I have so many other phases of my life in complete control. Why can’t I
keep my weight down? It was one of the things I wanted to try and figure out
with a shrink a while back, but he was awful.<o:p></o:p></div>
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As the father of a special needs kid I realize the
incredible importance in maintaining my health and being around as long as I
can. No pun intended, but it weighs on me pretty heavily… OK, the pun was
intended. Want a better laugh than a bad pun? If you were to see a picture of me and my parents, you would wonder how my mother gave birth to a person that is my size. Both of my parents are little people. To describe them both as "skinny" would be an insult to skinny people. They are both incredibly thin. I literally way more than my parents combined... by a good 10 pounds.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I make light of being a fat guy a lot. I suppose it is
easier than doing the hard work involved in getting myself back in shape. But I
have to do it. I have done it 2 or 3 times in the past, but if I do it again, I
want it to be the last time. I want to master the difficult task of maintaining
my weight and not getting complacent.<o:p></o:p></div>
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My kids deserve it… to be frank, I owe it to them.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I owe it to myself too.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_ukeNSslkRz9wlw8jmmLBKBTtseY4m6Ut46KhG8APLYqGZ2joMTgkGM5zSthZ8znq7d6A0PdXR38INFLW-n23hd4r2DOhUndzSvU2GfjdI8zx6ujLbCXTlM77aVHJIj1YkkUk5YAc0WN1/s1600/divider.gif" imageanchor="1" style="color: #6c91ce; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" height="70" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_ukeNSslkRz9wlw8jmmLBKBTtseY4m6Ut46KhG8APLYqGZ2joMTgkGM5zSthZ8znq7d6A0PdXR38INFLW-n23hd4r2DOhUndzSvU2GfjdI8zx6ujLbCXTlM77aVHJIj1YkkUk5YAc0WN1/s200/divider.gif" style="border: none; position: relative;" width="200" /></a></div>
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<br />
<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you have not already, please take time to watch my videos, </span><a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2011/08/fixing-autism.html" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Fixing" Autism</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and <a href="http://lous-land.blogspot.com/2012/02/autism-awarenessskyscraper-by-demi.html" target="_blank">Autism Awareness with Nichole337</a> and share them with your friends.</span></i></span></span></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><br /></i></span></span></span><span style="color: #333333;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><br /></i></span></span></span><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To keep up to date with everying in Lou's Land, please subscribe to my blog. "Like" Lou's Land on </span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/lousland" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Facebook</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and follow Lou's Land on </span><span style="color: #6699cc; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.twitter.com/lousland" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;">Twitter</a></span></i></span></span></div>
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Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17794074464910523454noreply@blogger.com1