In honor of Autism Sunday, a letter to my daughter:
Dear Bianca,
Do you know how perfect you are?
Your smile can melt the coldest of hearts. Your laugh fills the air with so much joy that one can’t help but share in your happiness. Your hugs tell me that not only do you love me, but you appreciate me.
Each day you surprise us. Your intelligence is so impressive. You communicate so much by saying so little. Your deep, brown eyes talk for you. They let whomever it is that you need to communicate with know what they need to know… unless you feel like talking. When you do decide to use your incredible vocabulary, I light up. I know how much you are trying. I know how badly you wish you could communicate verbally without such a struggle. I see that in your eyes too. Especially when they tell me you want more juice, a chocolate chip cookie, that you want to hog the television, or that you want to eat yet ANOTHER cucumber.
There are times that I find myself just staring at you and marveling at how pretty you are. Everybody says that you and your brother look just like me, but when I look at you I see your mother’s beauty shining through. We struggled for so long to have a family that when it finally came to be, your mother and I were ecstatic. I would not for ONE SECOND of my life ever regret having you. Autism be damned, you are my daughter. You are my light. I could not love you any more if you did not have autism and I certainly would never think to love you any less.
You have taught me so much in these six years. Because of you, I am now a fully realized man. Where once stood a sarcastic, narcissistic boy stands a man humbled and full of compassion. I know what I am supposed to do. I know who I am supposed to help. I thank you for helping me to understand what is important in life and what my priorities should be.
There is still a long road ahead of us. I couldn’t ask for a better travel companion.
I love you Bianca. Thank you.
Dad
If you have not already, please take time to watch my videos, "Fixing" Autism and
Autism Awareness with Nichole337 and share them with your friends.
You owe me mascara money. Also, I'm going to need to get Bianca to teach my kid to eat those cucumbers. He can reciprocate with peanut butter and jelly lessons...
ReplyDeleteHah! Well... Bianca will eat pickles and cucumbers until she explodes. She is actually a really healthy eater. She loves all sorts of fruits and veggies. Usually raw though. I think she likes the crunch factor... gotta love sensory issues. :-)
ReplyDeleteAs for PB&J, we have a master at that already. Sofie has them daily. Bianca will only eat peanut butter sandwhiches. Not a big fan of the jelly.
Don't get me wrong though. Bianca LOVES candy. Chocolate especially. She won't think twice about plowing you over for some M&M's. But she does balance out her sweet intake with healthy food. :-)
Perfect.
ReplyDeleteHow beautiful!!! I love it when parents show that its okay to be in love with your children! I have always said my 5 kiddos are the love loves of my life (my 2 boys both on the spectrum) and I wouldn't trade it for the world! I am in tears after reading this and love how you have captured the best of your daughter in so few words but so many memories, I am sure! Yes you do have to love the sensory issues...my youngest won't touch or eat anything "gritty or grainy" (apples or products, potatoes or products, denim, terry cloth, and the list goes on) But I have learned so much from him, that that small inconvenience of fixing him something in place of potato or apple does not matter one little bit to me...and I would do it all over every day to learn what he has taught me and then some!!!
ReplyDeletetear tear tear! :)
ReplyDeleteI am in love with this poem. I felt like I was reading it to my son Isaiah. I, too, am a humbled woman full of compassion. I can't find enough in me to help everyone because when I am no longer on this Earth, my destiny is to make sure my son has everything he needs. I help everyone mostly my family with everything possible and with the understanding that when I am no longer here physically, they are to make sure that my son Isaiah has everything he needs and someone helps him get what he wants. Autism be damned...this made my day. I've liked your page on fb and everyone in my family will, too. God bless you and your baby. I'm sure you feel as I do...blessed to have been chosen by these wonderful children to be their parents.
ReplyDeleteahem .. i read all the comments. Comments are making the original story even spicy
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