Making Sense of Sadness - 2012 Blogging Advent Calendar Day 16

We will return to our regularly scheduled autism related topic with the next post… for now though, some more reflection on the Newtown, CT. shooting…

I hadn't been able to put a finger on why this whole school shooting affected me so much. It just seems like so much to digest. The world seems so much uglier. It makes you angry and you can’t help but feel hopeless. Every post that I have read that makes good points about fixing mental healthcare, or finding a way to pass gun control legislation that can help protect people is met with people that don’t want to listen. Our society complains about the way things are, but every suggestion to change the status quo is met with fear of change that borders paranoia.

When it was suggested that the shooter had autism, I sat back and watched. I read statements and watched news segments. I scanned various blog posts and read numerous news articles. I was left numb. First because we still don’t know for sure if the shooter did indeed have autism, but secondly because I just didn't see how it mattered. He didn’t kill somebody because he was autistic. He killed somebody because he was mentally disturbed.

So Long Good Friend - 2012 Blogging Advent Calendar Day 2

“It’s inevitable when you buy a pet. You’re supposed to know it in the pet shop: it’s going to end badly. You’re purchasing a small tragedy.” - George Carlin

It is a sad day at the Melgarejo household. While sleeping on the love-seat (where she is not supposed to be) our dog Sadie fell to the ground crying and clearly in distress. She knocked into furniture, knocked over speakers and toys and was hitting her head really hard on the floor and wall until she crumpled up in a twisted heap by the front door. Sofie and Bianca were in the living room too. Bianca was in an opposite corner pretend playing with her Backyardigans, but Sofie was watching TV and saw the whole thing. I told her to go upstairs while I called for my wife for help.

A Happy Anniversary

One year ago today, I transferred a number of Facebook notes that I had written about my family’s experience with autism to Blogger and started Lou’s Land. I didn’t really put a lot of thought into it. I didn’t think anybody cared what I had to say and only did it after being bugged by several friends to make my experiences public.

What I discovered was that not only did people seem to relate to my writing; I could entirely relate to the feedback that I got in return. People shared their life, their stories, their intimate fears, their joys and triumphs all of which helped to make me understand that we were not alone in our journey. Where one on one therapy had failed, the online autism community had healed me. When you are scared of what lies ahead and are searching for answers, it helps to find people that have been where you are and can show you where you are going.

Giving Thanks

Ah… Thanksgiving; the day where most Americans will begrudgingly trek to some relative’s house that they really don’t want to be at, stuff themselves just short of exploding, watch football and if we are lucky… take one second out of their jam-packed day of gluttony and selfishness to be thankful for something… anything.

Most Turkey Days, I am ashamed to admit, I could qualify for all of the above. This year though… life is different. The veil of self-pity, selfishness, depression has been lifted… and boy am I THANKFUL!

I am thankful for my family. My folks are still around and my dad seems to be recovering nicely from his broken hip. My marriage has managed to survive another stress-filled year. My kids are happy and healthy. My father-in-law is still raising havoc at the age of 90! Things at work are going well too, I have a career doing something that I LOVE doing and have not felt like I have ever had to go to a “job”.

Usually that would round out the list. But 2011 has been different. The list is a lot longer, and it is time that some people got some praise and thanks.